I just do not know about this week—we may be headed for
End of Days.
First, the New York Times opens the gates to hell with
their recipe for guacamole. Which includes…peas.
Which, I suppose, is only what you can expect from a
stodgy old institution in New York City with a great big
how-can-we-show-how-trendy-we-are poker up its collective butt. But, seriously—peas
in guacamole?
No. Just no.
As the Twitterverse rushed
to point out, gracias a Dios.
But then, hard upon #GuacamoleGate came news that the
company that manufactures Bubble Wrap is moving to a product that won’t
pop when you press it. They’re calling it (of course they are) iBubble.
What the hell? Seriously—what the all bleeding hell?
Evidently, to save space, the product formerly known as
Bubble Wrap will come to the user flat and the user will have to inflate it.
Instead of individual cells, therefore, there are long rows of connected air
chambers.
Euw. #Deflategate all over again.
I don’t know what people are going to use for therapeutic
bubble-popping. They certainly can’t drown their anxiety sorrows in the NYT’s
guacamole. Maybe just move straight to margaritas.
Or if cutting limes is too onerous, just a bottle of
tequila and a straw. Maybe more than one.
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