Seal Team

As you know, the 35-day partial shutdown of federal agencies has left a legacy of chaos, backlogs and in general the kind of miserable cleanup you find after a Category 4 hurricane. We’re going to be sorting the consequences for months—if we’re lucky.

Here’s an interesting case from the files of the Needless Pointless Waste of Billions Shutdown. In the absence of National Park Service staff, who were furloughed across the country, our national treasures suffered. A hiker died from a fall in Yosemite without rangers able to respond quickly. Vandals cut down trees and off-roaders drove throughout Joshua Tree National Park just for the hell of it; damage that will take centuries to mitigate. At parks around the country, trash and human waste piled up like the aftermath of a Grateful Dead concert.

And in Northern California, Drakes Beach has been taken over by an invasive species and authorities are basically retaining the barricades for would-be beachgoers until the invaders decide to leave of their own accord.

Because the invasion force is a colony of elephant seals, who have thoroughly settled in. They’ve calved, set up their chow lines, measuring for curtains and are daring mere humans to turf them out. When you weigh more than an Infiniti and have the temperament of a longhorn with an abscessed tooth, the humans reconsider their normal beach-clearing tactics (which apparently have involved flapping blue tarps).

I expect that once the pups are of an age to hit the road with the ‘rents, the NPS will start flapping tarps again and the bipeds will be allowed beach access again. I hope to God they don’t trash up the place.

Weather report

We in the vicinity of District They Call Columbia got snow on Tuesday. It wasn’t the Polar Vortex that’s blanketed the Midwest in sub-zero misery, but offices let out early because it was supposed to hit during the evening commute rush hour. Then the forecast was for o a whole lot of evening events were cancelled throughout the area.

On my Metro ride out to the People’s Republic, I noted lines of salting/plow trucks idling on the shoulders along I-66 and the Toll Road. That’s always a bad sign. There were huge, fat flakes of snow all afternoon and into the evening, and I was glad I didn’t have to go out once I got the car parked. All I had to do was drink tea and watch the birds at the feeders.

It was too dark to shoot photos, so you’ll have to take my word for it. In the end, it was only an inch or two, but it did freeze, and I was very glad to be snug and warm inside.

Yesterday I had to go whack one of the feeders that had frozen shut, to release the mechanism that allows lightweight birds access to the seed while foiling squirrels and bully birds. I feel an obligation to ensure that the avian diner is open during the daylight hours. Gotta keep the customers happy, regardless of the weather.

Tableauing the discussion

Last week I shared one of the LinkedIn-based solicitations I received at work last year. I mentioned that my company already uses his software, so I didn’t get why Adam w/Tableau was bothering with me.

And yet—here he is again:

I will never understand sales guys.

User research

Because I used to work for an enterprise feedback technology company, I’m always curious when a company puts out what it’s pleased to call a survey. When Facebook does it, well…

This popped up in my feed last week, so I followed it to see what exercise in pretend-voice-of-the-customer research they were on about.

And, sure enough—here’s how they started out:

I mean—seriously?

That’s the kind of self-congratulatory piffle you’d expect to come out of the current occupant of the White House.

They followed it up by asking for “my own words”, as though they give a toss.

And then prompted me with their own words.

Note that that’s a radio-button response. Meaning you can only choose one. Yes, they say “most important”, but how can you pick just one way Facebook sucks?

Then they spent a lot of their own words reminding me of why I should have said they're fine, upstanding citizens of the world.

And that’s all, folks.

So—as I expected—they didn’t really want to know what I (or any of their users) think of them or their platform; it’s just an exercise in faux concern.

Just exactly like their response to every revelation of their amoral douchebaggery over the years.

Gratitude Monday: Break in the storm

Today I’m glad that the Kleptocrat caved and that 800,000 federal workers and more than a million contractors are headed back to paid work. Here in the District They Call Columbia, that means that my Metro ride is going to be more crowded, but I’m glad to know that my fellow commuters will have money flowing back into their bank accounts, and they can begin to drive back some of the excruciating anxiety they’ve been experiencing since mid-December.

I’m also grateful that people like José Andres stepped up to the plate with meals, groceries and supplies for the millions (when you factor in whole families) who’ve been living in this Dalìesque nightmare of either banishment from the job or unpaid servitude—people who perform needed functions but were crumpled up and tossed away by 45, McConnell and their cronies. And that I was able to contribute to some of the organizations to help with the effort.

Further—God bless Robert Mueller and his investigators, for continuing to work throughout this shitshow. And special blessings upon the [unpaid, for the moment] FBI team who arrested Klepto-crony Roger Stone on Friday morning on seven felony counts tied to the 2016 election. And on CNN for doing its job and covering that raid. Must-see TV, that.

I’m well aware that we are by no means out of the woods. There’s increasingly hysterical willie-waving posturing emanating from the White House about still needing that useless wall, and threats of another shutdown if he doesn’t get funding for it. Moreover, even if we didn’t have that prospect hanging over us, returning to full government operations after the 35 days of shutdown will probably take months, if not years. Don’t count on receiving whatever tax refund you’re anticipating by return mail. I think about the research projects that have been ruined because scientists were forbidden to continue their work, and I weep.

But even so—huge thanks that Pelosi and her comrades stood firm against the R extortion demands, and that—as reported on SNL—"Our top story tonight: President Trump’s heroic end to the shutdown. It took him 35 days, but he was finally able to get no wall.”

Today I’m glad that the Kleptocrat caved and that 800,000 federal workers and more than a million contractors are headed back to paid work. Here in the District They Call Columbia, that means that my Metro ride is going to be more crowded, but I’m glad to know that my fellow commuters will have money flowing back into their bank accounts, and they can begin to drive back some of the excruciating anxiety they’ve been experiencing since mid-December.

I’m also grateful that people like José Andres stepped up to the plate with meals, groceries and supplies for the millions (when you factor in whole families) who’ve been living in this Dalìesque nightmare of either banishment from the job or unpaid servitude—people who perform needed functions but were crumpled up and tossed away by 45, McConnell and their cronies. And that I was able to contribute to some of the organizations to help with the effort.

Further—God bless Robert Mueller and his investigators, for continuing to work throughout this shitshow. And special blessings upon the [unpaid, for the moment] FBI team who arrested Klepto-crony Roger Stone on Friday morning on seven felony counts tied to the 2016 election. And on CNN for doing its job and covering that raid. Must-see TV, that.

I’m well aware that we are by no means out of the woods. There’s increasingly hysterical willie-waving posturing emanating from the White House about still needing that useless wall, and threats of another shutdown if he doesn’t get funding for it. Moreover, even if we didn’t have that prospect hanging over us, returning to full government operations after the 35 days of shutdown will probably take months, if not years. Don’t count on receiving whatever tax refund you’re anticipating by return mail. I think about the research projects that have been ruined because scientists were forbidden to continue their work, and I weep.

But even so—huge thanks that Pelosi and her comrades stood firm against the R extortion demands, and that—as reported on SNL—"Our top story tonight: President Trump’s heroic end to the shutdown. It took him 35 days, but he was finally able to get no wall.”