All about the swag

So. Grace Hopper. Man—what to say? The 365 sponsoring organizations—companies, universities and government agencies—were clearly there to recruit. Heavy emphasis was on internships and early career. Many booths in the career fair were as elaborate and enticing as those I’ve seen at high-end tech conferences. Google, Apple, Microsoft, Disney; but also banks and other fintech outfits (think Mastercard, CapOne, American Express and brokerages), insurance companies (Allstate, Northwestern Mutual), retailers (Walmart to Nordstrom), social media, telecoms, pharma, startups—anything that depends on electronics or software to function.

They were out in force to lure software and hardware engineers, data scientists, UX designers and ancillary disciplines into joining. I wrote yesterday about some of the social/networking events on offer, today, let’s return to the career fair floor.

Here’s something that was missing from the typical conference/trade show lineup: booth babes. Everyone staffing the booths was a company employee, either recruiter or actual worker bee, there to give you the scoop about why you’d want to work there. No need for scantily-clad chicks in stilettos and full war-paint to get anyone’s attention. Having the Twitter or Apple logo over your head was enough to cause long lines to form.

Besides, I’m not sure that the inverse equivalent, booth hunks, are either easily conjured up or would serve the function for young women looking for juicy internships or FTE. The instant they started talking coding or data science, unless the hunks could keep up, the prospects would move on.

No—the booths were staffed with company employees, both recruiters and actual technologists, so that prospects could talk with people who understand the company and the work. (In addition to their presence in the career fair, most organizations also had interview booths resembling nomadic tents in movies, curtained off for privacy, where full-on job interviews were held and actual offers made for jobs and internships.) In a tech conference, this would have been the place where the companies would go to make deals with customers.

Some companies made this clear on the fair floor:

ADP, a company whose product I fight with on a regular basis was there. I wanted to stand by their booth with a bell and lantern to warn off the unsuspecting. “These people wouldn’t know good software if it rose up and bit them in the butt. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!”

ADP couldn't innovate its way out of a paper bag. End of.

Swag was somewhat different from what you get at tech fairs: tee-shirts, yes, but from a flimsier fabric than the kind of thing that you get at shows expecting a preponderance of males. The always-useful tote bags and water bottles. Some tech gear (chargers, charging cables, cable organizers), but a lot more stuff aimed at women; Chapstick, makeup bags—well, have a look.

Tote bags, including an interesting one from SquareSpace:

At the iOS dinner, they handed out this tote bag with the socks and hat already loaded, and then directed you to a table full of tee-shirts, stickers and other things, inviting you to choose. It was kind of like the Oscars, although no Harry Winston or Ferragamo.

I only got one water bottle, from GoDaddy, although at one event I spoke with a woman who had collected about six or eight, and was going back for more.

There were notebooks:

And way more pens than this sampling:

Makeup bags:

The tech kit I mentioned:

As an aside: those earbuds from Acxiom were the most costly in the history of trade shows. I had to listen to Tevvy (a SDE, I think) drone on ever so s-l-o-w-l-y about the company, in which I have no interest whatsoever. I almost handed back the earbuds as a way of getting out of there.

Roche gave out the selfie stick. I have never taken a selfie, nor do I ever expect to take one, but having an extension might come in handy for other shots. If I ever want to carry one with me. Which is unlikely, but still; now I have one.

There was also miscellaneous filler—ADP wasn’t the only organization to hand out a fidget spinner, but one was enough for me. The travel kit was from Walmart. You were meant to download their app and then show up to collect it. I downloaded, collected my “perk” and then deleted.

And some more, including a very nice little desk accessories set from Thumbtack—mini stapler, staple puller, scissors, flags, etc.

This bag from Tesla was interesting. I received an email congratulating me on being identified as a Tesla VIP because I was among the first to upload my résumé into their database (I didn’t, as it happens; I did upload it to the GHC portal, because that's the only way I was going to get invited to any parties, duh). I was directed to go to the west entrance of the Conference Center, where they had a Model 10 on display, to collect my reward.

Well, I walked back and forth, unable to locate the west entrance, before I checked emails and found that “due to rain”, they’d abandoned that idea and told me to go to their interview booth. My VIP “reward” was this "limited edition" bag:

With these objects inside:

A lanyard, a Hot Wheels Tesla Model X, a pen, and a something I haven’t a clue. Looks like you might be able to peel off the backing and stick it to a surface. But what you’re meant to put in it I have no earthly notion. I felt like Ralphie when he got his secret encoder ring from Ovaltine.

Oh—and, of course, tee-shirts:

I didn’t think I’d got that many—certainly not as many as were on offer. But still, when I unpacked at home, I had nine.

All-in-all, pretty impressive, and very interesting to observe how the recruiting organizations went about luring prospects in, between the parties and the swag.

I'm just a party girl. Or the Mother of Dragons

The Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing last week was quite the experience for me. Aside from the sessions (most very interesting, some meh and a couple of clams), I entered a whole new world. Viz:

I Ubered and I Lyfted for the first time. (Thank you, Darline, my first Lyft driver, for showing me how to do it!) By the end of the conference I was indistinguishable from the 17,999 other Hoppers standing at the front door of restaurants, hotels and other venues, staring at my mobile device and waiting for my ride.

(And really amusing upon arriving at Dulles to find people’s grannies using Uber and Lyft. Although my Uber fare home wasn’t really any cheaper than my taxi ride out had been.)

It was interesting that both apps give you your driver’s name, vehicle and license plate; Lyft was better because it shows a photo of the actual car. I have no notion of what different cars look like, and in the dark this becomes even more problematic, so this was helpful. Also, the license number is useless in Florida, which doesn’t require a front plate.

The hospitality events were first-rate. As I’ve mentioned, the companies in attendance were focused on recruiting tech talent with the XX configuration, and they did not scrimp on the budgets for these events. I only went to about ten or twelve in the three-and-a-half days I was there, although if I’d wanted to, I probably could have done a lot more double-booking and party-hopping than I did. Let me just give you a sampling from two evenings.

I started the first one by hitting the Cisco Disco at the pool area of my hotel. Bar, canapés and an ice cream bar. The latter was certainly welcome in the heat and humidity of Orlando, but it was hard to eat with the Medusa-like head gear they handed out as you entered.

From there I went through the convention center to the hotel at the other end and spent about 40 minutes at the Facebook pub trivia quiz (beer, wine, sodas and nibbles) before wandering into the #TwitterNightOut. I’d RSVP’d, but thought I wouldn’t make it because it was at another hotel. However, they moved it from wherever they were going to hold it to one of the ballrooms across from Facebook (kind of ironic, actually; like when Microsoft Stores get set up across from Apple Stores at malls), so I dropped in. This was full-blown rave mode, with multiple bars, canapés and some glow-in-the-dark swag.

After that, I drifted upstairs to the function rooms, where the Federal Reserve Bank was serving…something. I picked up a large cookie and hobbled back to my hotel room to make chamomile tea and eat the cookie.

Of the parties I went to, only a minority limited themselves to a couple of types of wine, fleshed out by sodas. I’m talking full bars taken over at restaurants and well-stocked, professionally-tended bars at hotel event rooms. The more exotic were at the iOS dinner, held at a Cuba Libre, and the HBO “Fire and Ice” Game of Thrones jobber at the Minus 5º Bar nearby. This was on the second night. I had my first mojito at the former, and my second, before I had to leave.

The HBO thing was pretty amazing (as they intended). First off, you had to not just RSVP, but say why they should let you in. I don’t recall what I said, exactly, but I did mention that if I were to go, I could throw some serious shade on my GoT fan friends. Apparently that was enough. (I don’t know why I was let into the iOS event, either, since they also wanted you to say why and I flat out told them I’m not an iOS developer.) Turns out that the Minus 5º Bar is an ice bar—as in, you walk through an airlock portal to get into a room carved out of ice.

They had it tricked out in what I took to be GoT schtick (I’ve not seen it, so I’m clueless), and they were offering two GoT-themed cocktails. (This was billed as “Cocktails and Conversation”.) I can’t recall what the first drink was (since it was post-mojito iOS), except that it had gin in it, and I don’t drink gin. Therefore, I chose the Mother of Dragons, which had some kind of non-gin booze (probably either rum or vodka), blood orange juice, lime juice and a splash of jalapeño, served in a glass carved out of ice.

Lemme just say that that Mother of Dragons was one tasty beverage, and it was quite interesting drinking it out of ice. (BTW: they give you big old parkas to put on, and there’s a pile of gloves in the airlock, so you don’t freeze.)

They held the presentation in the non-ice section of this establishment—multiple screens showing scenes from GoT with the visual effects stripped out and then layered in. (They were recruiting for engineers to help with this magic.) After a while I left, because frankly, it was hard on my joints to be standing still for that length of time after a full day of walking from one end of the Orange County Convention Center to another. So I missed the raffle for the GoT-related stuff, although they handed out $25 gift cards to HBOnow when you picked up your name tag.

And I definitely get to throw shade on my GoT fan friends.

From there I went to the Microsoft-sponsored Codess event (my fourth of the evening; I started out at the PowerToFly cocktails and convos, without imbibing), which was held at a place called the Sugar Factory. This turned out to be a bar attached to a candy shop. (You know—it might have been a restaurant, but they’d cleared everything out of it except a few high tables, the sort you find in a cocktail bar.) I got there around 2100, which was about halfway through the cocktails event.

Turned out to be more standing, but I had a fascinating conversation with three women—one from SAP (in Germany), one from Oracle and one from I don’t remember. The two latter were Orlando residents, and they were curious about our impression of their hometown. Sadly, we both used words like “artificial”, “plastic” and “Vegas”. They assured us that Orlando is actually a very nice place, and it was a pity that the only parts of it we were seeing were the touristy ones.

Which was of course true.

The Codess goodie bag consisted of being handed two little containers and being set loose in the candy shop. I really didn’t fancy more sugar at that point, but I did get some chocolate covered almonds and coffee beans, and a few gummy critters, which look disgusting, but I have a friend who will probably appreciate the gummy gators.

A couple more hospitality highlights:

The breakfast put on Thursday by Square featured their CFO, Sarah Friar, who spoke eloquently about how her company’s tech was making a difference to small businesses. (I’ve certainly seen that: from taco trucks to hair salons to electricians, that little credit card reader has opened up my wallet to businesses that would have lost me if I’d had to carry cash.) They’re also moving into small business lending, which is an interesting expansion.

The goodie bag at each of our places contained three things Friar cares about: a Square reader, tea and honey. I loved the personalization of that swag.

God bless Slack for putting on the Ladies who Launch lunch that had actual food—both pork and chicken, salad, veggies. This was enough to see me through the entire afternoon and past the last night bash (where food was served, but the sliders, sushi and whatnot just didn’t look appetizing).

The panel discussion on issues around diversity and inclusion was excellent, as well.

(Another aside: the "tips for surviving GHC" all said to bring snacks. Between the mid-morning and mid-afternoon spreads of pastries, fruit, eggs and yoghurt on the career fair floor, and the various sponsored meals, I never needed to touch any of the protein or granola bars in my pack.)

And I was rather amused to see this little fellow as I was walking around the venue for the Stripe Coffee and Crepes breakfast. I don’t think he was part of the official décor, and I thought he might be fake, but he was as real as I was at that point.

I’ll write more about GHC later. Because swag.

Loups de loo

Okay, slight detour from the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing, and brief return to le scandale des toilettes I mentioned last week. Turns out I was absolutely right when I commented that anyone who needs to be reminded not to be a pig probably isn’t going to pay any attention to the reminder.

Because when I got back to the office yesterday, I saw these additions to the stall notices:

(I have to say that the “waist” got up my nose, as did the fact that no one corrected it.)

Evidently things took a turn for the worse in my absence.

My first thought—since this has only been going on for maybe three or four weeks—was that a new employee is responsible for the used paper products left around the place. But then it occurred to me that it could be someone who’s really pissed off at something (there’s been a lot of shifting people around, and some of the shiftees got considerably less desirable digs than they used to occupy) and is engaging in some passive-aggressive trashing of the ladies loo. Kind of childish if that’s the case.

At any rate, it remains to be seen, of course, whether the ratcheted-up warnings will do the trick.

Nuclear power, and caller ID

Hurrah—it’s Ada Lovelace Day! You know—the one day of the year that we consider ourselves all diverse and inclusive to recall the contributions made to the fields of science, technology, engineering and math by women.

In years past, I’ve written about such brilliant minds as Grace Hopper (whose celebration I attended just last week); Nobel Laureate (for physiology/medicine) Rosalyn Sussman; Hedy Lamarr (who developed the radio frequency hopping system that underpins mobile telephony); research chemist Marie M. Daly; IDEO designer Barbara Beskind; and Joan Struthers Curran and Beatrice Shilling, engineers whose work contributed to our victory in the Second World War.

If you’ve ever used caller ID to screen phone calls (before the telemarketers and IRS scam artists learned to spoof their numbers), you can thank today’s entry. Shirley Ann Jackson, a DC native, was the first African-American to be granted a doctorate from MIT; it was in nuclear physics, and the year was 1973.

Jackson’s career spanned serious bench research at prestigious labs in the United States and Europe, including AT&T Bell Laboratories, where her discoveries contributed to advances in semiconductors, and to the development of touch-tone telephony, caller ID/call waiting, fiber optics and solar cells. President Bill Clinton appointed her the Chairman of the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission, where she assisted in the establishment of the International Nuclear Regulators Association.

Since July of 1999, Jackson has served as president of the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in New York. I kind of wish she’d stayed at the bench and come up with a way to shut out all the telemarketers and scammers, but I suppose that’s too much to hope from even as remarkable a woman as Jackson.

Gratitude Monday: Three days of the Hopper

As you’ll be aware from my most recent posts, I spent much of last week at the Grace Hopper celebration of Women in Computing (GHC), in Orlando. It was a stunning experience, encompassing everything from masses of humanity to fascinating conversations with individuals; flavored with tales of inspiration, practical advice and not a little near-hysterical laughter.

And, of course, after-parties and swag.

I’ll try to organize my thoughts about it all and pass on the more interesting tidbits to you, but it’s Gratitude Monday, and I’m grateful for many things: for the opportunity to go, for the fact that I actually was able to get a ticket to go (many, many thousands did not, notwithstanding the fact that there were 18,000 of us there anyhow) and for making it through the three full days (from 0600 to 2200 of hard charging) with the help of massive quantities of ibuprofen.

Let me also say that I’m impressed and grateful for an organization that walks the talk of diversity and inclusion, as witnessed by something as basic as the need to pee: restrooms were clearly signed for a multiplicity of genders (the tiny minority of males at the conference discovered fewer actual loos for them, but should have taken heart in the number that were all-gender).

This is only a sampling of the options:

Also, and I don’t have photos of this, but provisions were in place for the keynotes for people who needed special access seating, closed captioning or other aids to full participation. The logistics behind this was extensive and complex, and—while I thankfully did not need to avail myself of any of it—I was grateful for an organization that undertakes this kind of effort to ensure that all were included.