Back when I was first parachuted into my
current…project, my soon-to-be-former-manager (and now former colleague) told
me it was a good fit, because (in his estimation), and despite their numerous
PhDs, no one in the entire department had a lick of [business] sense, and my
skills were desperately needed.
I thought that a wild exaggeration, but some
months later (maybe around last summer) I told him that I get really nervous
when I look around a meeting table and realize I’m the most organized person in
the room. He looked quizzical and said, “But you’re very organized.” No, I am
not. I have seen very organized people, very organized people are friends of
mine. I am no very organized person.
And yet—in the land of the blind, the one-eyed
astigmatic woman is empress.
Anyhow, your empress took the new year by the
horns and called a meeting yesterday to “synchronize watches” on what the hell’s
going on with this thing, although I was the only person to understand the military
reference. Which is sad, because in this upcoming campaign, whatever troops
show up on the field will be annihilated.
I slotted the meeting (meetings in this crowd
are always called “huddles”, God help me. One of the crowd is actually going to
create a folder on Dropbox called “huddles” for her notes. P.S. Her notetaking
skills are…rudimentary; how did she get a PhD from NC State?) for 30 minutes.
It ran on another 60, and at every minute mark I saw my old ex-manager’s face
as he said that this team had no sense at all; “no sense” obviously includes
concise communication.
I’m not going into detail, but you’ll get the
drift if I tell you that major components of the service we’re meant to be
offering starting a year hence have been changed (which
buggers the business plan), outside entities are now taking over delivery of
many services (ditto), “we have no confidence in timelines because we never get
anything done on time” (tough toenails, honey), the same kind of bullshit yakkery that we saw in Tuesday’s
cabinet meeting flowed as team members basically blew business “strategy” out
their butts in the expectation that I’m so stupid or ignorant that I won’t
recognize it for what it is, and they are planning to manage development of a
complex IT infrastructure without input from the only product manager in the company. Also, Ms. Notetaker has apparently heard the term "wheelhouse" and is proud to use it. I'm expecting at any moment to hear her refer to someone as a thought leader.
So hey, 2019—yay!