All through my coffee break time

For today’s earworm, let’s remember Bert Bacharach, who died this week aged 94.

Bacharach largely owned pop music composing in the 60s and 70s—it was hard to turn on an AM station (Google it) for 20 minutes without hearing one of his songs. The voice most associated with his work was Dionne Warwick’s, and I have to say that to me, they all pretty much sounded alike.

One of his biggest hits was “Say a Little Prayer”. I have a recording of Aretha Franklin singing it, but I’m going to share a clip from My Best Friend’s Wedding, where Julia Roberts is handed her hat by the genuinely happy family of the girl who’s about to marry the man Julia just realized she wants for herself. The thing that does it for me is the waving crab claws at the end.

 

 

SITREP: S plus 14

Another milestone in my journey to bionics. First post-op checkup by orthopod.

Naturally, it was the orthopod PA, because the Big Guy doesn’t concern himself with such trivialities. I think the appointment would need to be more than 10 minutes, for one thing.

But milestone achieved, because the bandage came off. Viz, before:

(Notice swelling and bruising. WRT the latter, something about all the trauma settling below the actual incision and gravity?)

And after:

Interestingly, no staples. There are sub-cutaneous dissolving sutures, and the surface is held together by surgical glue. Incision is 17.5 cm.

Not sure if that qualifies me to say I’m being held together by chewing gum and baling wire, but it’s in the vicinity. The swelling will be a fixture for weeks, apparently.

Fun fact: they had a robot in there to help drill holes in things and properly seat the devices. X-rays are cool.

Anyway—he pronounced himself pleased with my range of motion; I can achieve straight leg, and bend beyond 90 degrees, which apparently is the one-month goal. When I told him I’m driving, he cautioned me. Well, he burst out, “Are you taking Oxycodone?” No. Then he cautioned me to start by driving to an empty parking lot and practicing, etc.

Behind my mask I was mouthing, “Dude—that train has so left the station. How do you think I got here today?”

However, yesterday I also had a rather strenuous PT session, which kind of knocked the sass out of me, so I’m taking caution under advisement. Evidently I'll be living with the swelling for at least a month and the road to healing is not a simple one.

Next milestone: second post-surgical checkup in a month.

 

 

Junk mail

I was trawling through some digital files and came across this one I saved about nine years ago. It’s a phishing attempt.

What struck me at the time was not only the Anglo-Indian language, but the fact that it’s allegedly from Canada Post (without any branding). To someone (at the time) in The Valley They Call Silicon.

I thought it risible, but the thing about these cheap, crude efforts is that they pay off frequently enough to make them still a thing, even a decade on.

Don't contribute to their profits, people.

 

 

New diet

Let me take this opportunity to tell you how disgusting frozen dinners are. I stocked up because the hospital instructions said you don’t want to be messing with cookery in the aftermath of total knee replacement.

You’d have thought, what with technology and nutritional science, that they’d advanced since the days of Swanson’s TV dinners. But you’d be wrong.

I’ve had a couple of Lean Cuisines, a Marie Callender “Café Steamer”, one of her pot pies and something I don’t even recall. The only decent one was the Trader Joe chicken tikka masala. The café steamer was so bad that when I put the remnants out for the fox; he left them. But he ate the bits of sourdough roll I also tossed out.

Thank god for Progresso canned soup.

 

 

 

Gratitude Monday: Getting around

Big one today: driving achieved!

This was a huge milestone for someone from LA; being unable to get around via automobile (with emphasis on the “auto”) is an Angeleño’s worst nightmare. In fact, whenever I’m under stress for a period of time, I start having dreams about being unable to find my car, crashing my car, having my car be stolen.

(In the run-up to surgery, I dreamt every night for more than a week about car-catastrophes. In one of them I drove into a swamp. These are genuine nightmares.)

But I had a notice from the local library that a book I’d put on hold (I was about number 235 on the list when I placed the hold) was available. So I marched carefully to my car, got in, fired up the engine in 18-degree weather (God bless Swedish engineering), engaged the clutch and took off.

Everything worked as designed. No pain, able to move from accelerator to brake, pressure through knee fine. The worst part was getting out of the driver’s seat. Guy in the Honda who wanted to pull up next to me in the library lot had to wait while I carefully lifted the leg out and got everything aligned for real automotion.

That trip to the library was Liberty Leading the People—I can get myself to appointments without bothering friends or fighting with Anthem about paying for Uber. I can grocery shop (the new Wegmans is across the street from my PT!). I can go into the office to use the high-speed color printer and pick up some fresh fruit.

I can live my best fourth-generation Californian life.

Mega thanks for that.