Breakfast of losers?

The Telegraph ran a story last week on a study that indicates that chocolate cake at breakfast may help with weight loss.

When you drill down past the headline, it says that a “slice” of chocolate cake as “part of a balanced breakfast” is what the unnamed researchers are talking about. (It’s not clear to me whether this Professor Daniela Jakubowicz, of Tel Aviv University, was involved in the study or is just commenting on it. But I purely admire a journal called Steroids.)

There’s a lot about this that I don’t get.

First—what’s this “as part of a balanced breakfast” stuff? Chocolate cake is a balanced meal; it has cake and it has icing. That’s perfectly balanced.

But secondly—they keep throwing out the number of 600 calories for this allegedly balanced breakfast. If a slice of chocolate cake is 300 calories (which is the number the Telegraph is using) that leaves you 300 for…what? Two eggs and three slices of bacon are 450.

Okay—a bowl of oatmeal is 160, but I’m not eating that without cream and a little brown sugar. I’m also not eating an entire meal of nothing but carbs.

So, what do they want? A cup of Greek yoghurt and half a grapefruit? I’m just not getting this.

But while we’re here—let’s open the discussion on apple pie.