She died, of course

You may be aware of the big horsemeat scandal currently enveloping Europe. It’s not so much that people are eating horsemeat; it’s that horsemeat is being introduced into the meat supply chain & subsequently marketed & sold as beef.

I’m not exactly sure what prompted the rash of tests run on prepared meals & pre-formed hamburger patties—or, for that matter, why tests aren’t routinely run to begin with—but they turned up at times substantial percentages of Dobbin in the products that were being sold as 100% beef. Or as close to 100% as you get in these kinds of things. (Remember the pink slime scandal here a while ago?)

Well, now it’s swept through Ikea—seems the that Czech authorities found horsemeat in the Swedish pressed-sawdust furniture giant’s Kottbullar meatballs. Ikea has recalled them—a search on their UK site for “meatballs” returned only the chicken product. Or at least, a product labeled as chicken:

I’m not going to get all wound up in the issue of the ethics of agribusiness or animal slaughter practices. I will point out that the story opens up the way for all kinds of punny comments, which NPR readers have taken full advantage of.

There were a couple of prize entries:

“Not a whinnying combination. Maybe IKEA is jockeying for a new market.”

“The meatballs have more horsepower than a turbo Saab.”

There was also this exchange:

“Was wood found in the Idea furniture?” 

“Traces of it has [sic] been detected within the glued laminations…I wonder what the glue is made from.”

But the one that just undid me was, “Would you care for some spaghetti bologneighs?”

Well, we all know what happened to the old woman who swallowed a horse.