Certified spam fritter

Here’s one of the odder pieces of spam I’ve received. So far:

My first clue that this wasn’t legit is that I’m not a CPA. In fact, the idea that I’d work in any capacity even remotely close to accountancy is enough to set the laughometer into seismic overload. The real crime here would be if I were in practice as an accountant, certified or otherwise.

So I wasn't unduly worried that a professional organization could revoke some status that I don't have & which is conferred by state licensing agencies anyhow.

But I thought I’d share with you. It makes a nice change from online cat antics.

Paws for thought

In case you're ever in need of laughing yourself senseless, I give you a change from Maru & breaded cats.  Downton Tabby:

Breaded cats? Not Maru

Allegedly a hot Internet trend: cat breading.

What? You don’t know about cat breading? Pull the insides from a slice of bread & stick your cat’s head into the hole. Then take a photo & slap it up on the Web.

Two questions:

Does PETA know about this?

Would anyone be subjecting their feline to such indignity if the Net didn’t exist?


Actually, one more: I wonder if ER visits for cat scratches are on the rise?

Microapple sauce

I happened to be in a local mall recently & noticed that when Microsoft their Mac-manqué store, they went out of their way to get up close & personal with their Great Satan:

This photo is a shot of the Microsoft store. You can see the reflection in the window of the Apple store. You could stand in front of one & spit watermelon seeds at the window of the other.

What you can’t see is that, while the Apple store is humming with activity, you could hold World War III in the Microsoft store & no one would get hurt.

Time flies on H2

Okay, so it's not just the Discovery franchise/Military Channel that's cut corners on editors.

I was scanning the offerings on H2 (the Channel Formerly Known as History International, But Which Has Long Since Forsaken Any Pretense of Actual Interest in Anything Outside the US) and realized that their blurb writers don't seem to be able to equate a one-hour time block with 60 minutes.

Seriously--is no one paying any attention?

Not Maru, Part 3

As long as I’m on a feline kick, here’s something that makes me want to reach for copious quantities of catnip: the latest in concept destinations, the cat café.

Evidently, the deal is that you pay a fee to enter the shop & spend time, erm, playing with cats.

Only in Japan. Well, & Korea.

It reminds me of another concept destination from that neck of the woods: only instead of paying a cover charge & then buying drinks for the, erm, feline-like denizens, you’re paying a cover charge & buying treats (which, to my eyes, resemble cabbage shreds) for the feline-like denizens.

I wonder if the kitties get breaks—get to go into a back room, crawl into boxes & bags, use the litter box, etc., or if they have to be out front their entire shift?

But if the concept itself isn’t challenging enough to get my head around, according to the poster(s) of this video, the guy you see briefly talking to the face-masked employee is apparently a, erm, regular. As in, having a “regular three-hour session” with the cats.

& he regularly brings presents for the cats. This time it was Minnie Mouse ears &, erm, clothes. & he was upset to discover that many of the cats present were males.

But wait, there's more: the Minnie Mouse guy "had a cat tail attached to his pants".

Two questions:

Does PETA know about this?

How long before it makes it to California?

Stereotypographies

As follow-up to my previous post on typography, it has come to my attention that many of the fonts associated with the PC revolution (including the dreaded Comic Sans) were inspired by…cats!

Number 16, Courier, makes me think of Mehitabel.

Yes, I know, it was Archy who slaved at the typewriter, but still, there's something about this particular cat…

Recruiters 26

Aside from the usual posse of South Asian body-shop bottom-feeders, the past week has seen a couple of rather amusing recruiter interchanges.

I received this email from an agency recruiter last Wednesday, slugged “Hot new Healthcare startup!”:

“Good Afternoon!

“I came across your resume while doing a search and wanted to reach out regarding an opportunity with a hot new Health care startup!

“The company is XXX! They are building a HIPAA compliant, cloud-based application platform for engaging and managing consumer relationships. Our applications bring the beauty and simplicity of the best consumer Internet to the digital delivery of health care in a way that will radically transform the user experience of health care.

“On the XXX platform, educational and therapeutic communications take place privately and reliably on the web-enabled or mobile device of the patient’s choosing. Medical professionals using XXX ensure a more thorough and reliable education of their patients, saving valuable practice time and eliminating repetition and follow up calls.

“I'm not sure if you are looking, but even if you aren't we offer a great referral program as well

“Do you have a minute to chat?”

I wouldn’t find it so amusing had I not had exchange with her two-days earlier when I turned down another of her multiple-exclamation-point opportunities. She couldn’t even keep track of me for 48 hours.

Then there was the in-house recruiter from a cloud development platform company. He sent a canned email for a Senior PM/Director position, with a three-line job description. I went on their site, decided I wasn’t right for that one, but they had a product marketing opening I liked. So I replied to that effect. He invited me to send my CV, which I did. And got this in reply:

“Thank you kindly for your response and direct interest in our opening. In the interest of clarity regarding exactly what the critical credentials are for this role are. Please see them specified below. If you are this person, you have a high chance of success in pursuing this role. I also included the complete description below this role.

“I look forward to your feedback after reviewing the below info.”

Which was for the PM/Director job I’d just said I wasn’t interested in.

I just wonder that these people—both in-house and agency—have so much time on their hands that they can waste it so profligately.

Golden wonders

You may or may not have noticed the Golden Corral commercials for something called the “chocolate wonderfall”. It’s their take on that staple of weddings and bar mitzvahs (and possibly funerals, too; I don’t know): a fountain of chocolate you stick things like fruit, pretzels, marshmallows and whatnot into.

You know—like a water feature, but with a substance that will get all over every surface in your house. Or like fondue on steroids.

I like chocolate as much as the next girl, but I have to say that this idea does not strike me as entirely salubrious. Even in the privacy of your own home, much less in a family-oriented fast-food joint, with kids who’ll be sticking their hands and other things into the cascading chocolate.

Be that as it may, the interesting thing about this particular commercial is the last few seconds, where they urge you to join them for Valentine’s Day.

Let me just say this: if your sweetheart’s idea of a romantic destination today is Golden Corral, then the fire is definitely gone from your relationship.

Post-nuclear winter

Ahhh...

Whiny Bob delivered the replacement microwave Friday morning, still bitching about the lack of an elevator.

I celebrated by nuking a plate of kubideh kabob & rice from the Persian place across the street for my dinner.