Golden wonders

You may or may not have noticed the Golden Corral commercials for something called the “chocolate wonderfall”. It’s their take on that staple of weddings and bar mitzvahs (and possibly funerals, too; I don’t know): a fountain of chocolate you stick things like fruit, pretzels, marshmallows and whatnot into.

You know—like a water feature, but with a substance that will get all over every surface in your house. Or like fondue on steroids.

I like chocolate as much as the next girl, but I have to say that this idea does not strike me as entirely salubrious. Even in the privacy of your own home, much less in a family-oriented fast-food joint, with kids who’ll be sticking their hands and other things into the cascading chocolate.

Be that as it may, the interesting thing about this particular commercial is the last few seconds, where they urge you to join them for Valentine’s Day.

Let me just say this: if your sweetheart’s idea of a romantic destination today is Golden Corral, then the fire is definitely gone from your relationship.