Friday, February 20, 2009

Reading the coffee grounds

Evidently the world really is going to hell (possibly in a hand basket; possibly in a Pontiac): Starbucks has launched a new product…instant coffee.

Mind you, this is happening at a time when the company has begun rounds of cost cuts by laying off 1370 employees & closing 600 of its stores.

They’ve been suffering in recessionary times where people are having to choose between a week’s worth of Cup-a-Soups or a single tall half-caff mocha latte with extra foam.

But why bring out an industrially-extruded desiccated over-packaged coffee-like product? Why not just, you know, lower prices of their existing offerings?

CEO Howard Schultz cited foreign markets (notable Japan & the UK) where instant coffee dominates. But I’m not sure you want to stake your reputation as a premium brand on the likes of a country that can’t be bothered to brew a decent cup of coffee.

Interestingly, Britain’s Business Secretary, Lord Mandelson, took umbrage at other statements by Schultz, who evidently said that the UK market is “in a spiral”, causing concern to the company (which has a number of stores there, including one across the street from Windsor Castle).

Mandelson’s actual quote was: “Why should I have that guy running down the country? Who the **** is he?”

So, is he saying that the UK economy is just hunky-dory? If so, someone needs to sit him down with a cup of coffee (instant, no doubt) & point out some reality. Kind of scary when your equivalent of Commerce Secretary lights into a CEO of a company headquartered in another country (& whose investment in your own economy isn’t going to make or break anything) simply because he states the blindingly obvious.

But that’s what I mean—definitely headed to hell.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Beggars' (soap) opera, Act II

GM and Chrysler have submitted their “restructuring plans” to Congress, who are going to mull them around for a bit before caving to the auto companies’ demands for another $21B of our money to keep them afloat.

GM plans to concentrate on its three strongest global brands, Chevy, Cadillac and Buick, plus GMC trucks. They’ll phase out Saturn (either sell it or let it die), kill Hummer (because who would buy it?) and cut Saab loose.

Chrysler’s talking about gaining concessions from dealers, unions, suppliers and management. Good luck with that.

But I’m not seeing where they say they’re going to build cars the people want to actually, you know, drive. And their lobbying efforts against fuel efficiency continue apace while the execs are holding out their begging bowls.

GM has announced it will cut 47,000 jobs worldwide; but meanwhile they continue incredibly wasteful spending on executive travel (have they never heard of video conferencing?), bonuses and ex-pat programs.

Naturally, the linchpin on which everything hangs is the threat that if the US taxpayers let them die the miserable death they've set themselves up for, they'll take the economy with them. Well, take it further. So Congress is bound to hand over our money to the executive extortionists, which they'll use to no advantage and then come back for more.

Can you say sinkhole? I knew you could.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Short-cuts to weight loss

How are you doing on your resolutions to lose weight and get into those jeans you bought three years ago to motivate you? Feeling like you might need a wee bit of help achieving your goals?

In case you feel tempted to call the operators that are standing by, or going online to http://www.loseyourfatasswithoutworkingit.com/ to pay $69.99 (plus S&H) for magical herbal compounds guaranteed to cause you to shed the pounds, take a look at these ads from the 30s:




If you think that stuff on TV is any less hair-brained, then here’s what you should do: just send me the $69.99 and you’ll get every bit as much weight loss benefit, And you’ll save the shipping and handling costs.

Don’t believe me? Have a read of this short history of diet pills.

And lest you think you can believe the claims of the American Dairy Association or anything funded by the Cattlemen’s Beef Board or even (these days) the American Peanut Council, take a look at this:



Up to you, of course, but when someone’s trying like mad to sell you something their focus is more on their financial health than your physical health.

Just sayin’.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Crashing through the economy

I’m not sure that this “All You Need to Know about the Crash” story in the WSJ really covers it “all”. But if you find it helpful, peace be unto you.

As far as I’m concerned, our Congresslime screwed the pooch on the stimulus package in not retaining that $15,000 tax credit for any home purchase/refinance. Instead they’ve got the paltry $8,000 credit for first-time buyers only. How did they figure that they’re the only ones who need relief?

Billions to bail out GM & Wells Fargo (who turn around & spend it on junkets & corporate jets), & zippo for the taxpayers who could use a little, you know, relief.

I definitely think public stoning is the answer.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Music for war

I’ll take a break from the psychopathology of octuplets and the moral turpitude and fiscal fecklessness of corporate executive management, and share this story from the WSJ on music as a mode of torture.

You may recall that in 1989 US troops used loud music as a siege weapon against Manuel Noriega, holed up in the Apostolic Nunciature in Panama City. They stopped after the Pope complained to Bush 41.

That’s not exactly what we’re talking about here. Clive Stafford Smith, director of British human rights organization Reprieve, details the tactics used in current operations in a June 2008 story in the Guardian. It is indeed serious business.

Still, you wonder as some of the choices of omission as well as commission in the military’s list: What’s up with “American Pie”? Leaving aside the point that anything played at sufficient volume will make your ears bleed, what’s objectionable about “American Pie”? Is it the good old boys drinkin’ whiskey and rye? Or the levee being dry?

And the Sesame Street theme? Well, perhaps a bit on the super-sunny side; but surely not in the realm of that ghastly Barney theme. Play that just once, at normal volume, and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.

But how is it possible that “It’s a Small World” isn’t on that list? Even thinking about it makes your teeth ache. Or anything by Abba? Or…can you say Minnie Riperton?

So, what would music would you include in the next iteration of the Geneva Convention?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Corkage fees

If you’re not in an alcoholic stupor from champagne or insulin shock from chocolates in a heart-shaped box, the WSJ’s wine columnists have suggestions for Wine-related Things to Do in 2009.

Yeah, yeah, the dateline is early last month, but you still have ten and a half months to carry out the recommendations.

I have to say, I’m due for a new corkscrew. The one I use primarily is a little sprung. Not from over-use, mind you. I just had a particularly recalcitrant cork one time and it’s never been the same since.

I’m a little uneasy about that new wine country. I recall vividly still the really bad Bulgarian wine the grad students in the history department at W&M used to buy for our parties, because it was cheap. But what the hell—do you want to live forever? Just have a back-up bottle ready, in case.

Haven’t seen the wine flights in metro Seattle, but I’m sure they exist. I do recall a wine bar in San Francisco a couple of years ago, where I had three splashes of sparklers. Lord, was I ever in heaven.

Since most of my dining out is alone, I’m limited to the wines you can order by the glass, since restaurants around here don’t seem to have discovered the concept of half-bottles. So that cheapest wine is kind of out for me.

Opening bubbly for no particular reason has become my mantra, however.

I do have a bottle of Sauternes somewhere. However, I don’t know what it’ll taste like since I’ve had it for about 15 years, have schlepped it from Virginia to Britain, back to Virginia and then PNW.

And here’s the thing: Brecher and Gaiter don’t mention it here, but they have elsewhere. Do not horde a bottle for the “right” occasion. Along with that bottle of Sauternes, I had a couple of bottles of very nice 1980s-era California cabernets, given me by friends. I opened one last week and the instant I saw that brownish red color I knew it was gone. Ditto the second. The third, a Graves I acquired at the same time as the Sauternes, is barely drinkable (think chili).

So if you do anything wine-ish this year, make sure that you haul out those special bottles and enjoy them.