I was going to say that this isn’t strictly part of my current experience; then I realized I’d be lying. At one time or another within the past three years I’ve been asked all these inane questions at interviews…and more.
Well, the “where do you see yourself in five years” one has evidently gone out of fashion, since it has to be patently obvious to even the most fatuous interviewers that a five-year outlook with reference to a particular employer is in the realm of fiction.
&, while they’re all ridiculous & clear evidence of an organization in which someone has Taken A Course on interviewing, you know that anyone who asks about your greatest weakness is sadly behind the times. They really need to check out the latest edition of the handbook from the public library.
As for the hypothetical brain teaser questions: they’re huge in the largest software companies. I once spent an hour being asked a series of these by a guy sporting a pudding bowl haircut sitting on a balance ball in his office.
I can’t believe I still accepted the job offer.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Another day in paradise
It hardly seems fair, given the weather that's visited most of the nation over the past week, but it hit 76 degrees Fahrenheit in the Silicon Valley Sunday under a cloudless sky.
I had my windows open, took a walk in short sleeves & drank iced tea.
In February.
I had my windows open, took a walk in short sleeves & drank iced tea.
In February.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
New year redux
Wishing you a very happy new year. Year of the Rabbit, that is.
Apparently this will be a year for rest & recuperation after the Year of the Tiger, which we’ve just passed through. There’s danger of indulgence & stagnation if you let yourself go rabbit-wild. Also, on the international front, greater insularity & national protectionism, or so I hear.
(According to Punxsutawney Phil, we're getting an early spring; but that's a rodent of a different disposition entirely.)
Still—I’m in the mood for something new & for something to celebrate. So, dunno about you, but I’ve cleaned my house & paid my bills & I’m going to have some spicy Chinese food to mark the changeover.
Gung hay fat choi.
Apparently this will be a year for rest & recuperation after the Year of the Tiger, which we’ve just passed through. There’s danger of indulgence & stagnation if you let yourself go rabbit-wild. Also, on the international front, greater insularity & national protectionism, or so I hear.
(According to Punxsutawney Phil, we're getting an early spring; but that's a rodent of a different disposition entirely.)
Still—I’m in the mood for something new & for something to celebrate. So, dunno about you, but I’ve cleaned my house & paid my bills & I’m going to have some spicy Chinese food to mark the changeover.
Gung hay fat choi.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Corporate fish tail
The WSJ reports that a medievalist at Yale has debunked the official Starbucks corporate “history” of the origin of their mermaid logo. ’Bucks’ leadership claims to have both “pored” and “poured” over various (undefined) “marine books” before finding inspiration in a 16th-century “old Norse woodcut”.
According to the Yale blogger, the whole idea of 16th-century Norse woodcuts is on the crocky side,and the source was more likely some version of a book called The Dictionary of Symbols, which was originally published in the 15th century, but isn’t marine related.
Here are my thoughts on the matter:
1. Who cares?
2. Is anyone really surprised that any corporation would fetch up a load of old cobbers about any part of their operation?
3. Who cares?
However, I pass it on to you in the interests of intellectual inquiry.
According to the Yale blogger, the whole idea of 16th-century Norse woodcuts is on the crocky side,and the source was more likely some version of a book called The Dictionary of Symbols, which was originally published in the 15th century, but isn’t marine related.
Here are my thoughts on the matter:
1. Who cares?
2. Is anyone really surprised that any corporation would fetch up a load of old cobbers about any part of their operation?
3. Who cares?
However, I pass it on to you in the interests of intellectual inquiry.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Rooms at the inns
Dunno whether you were contemplating a trip to Pigeon Forge, Tenn., or Daytona Beach, Fla., but if so you may wish to consult Trip Advisor’s list of the Ten Dirtiest Hotels in the US beforehand.
If you’re headed out to Europe, Asia or India (don’t know whether Trip Advisor doesn’t know or doesn’t care that India is part of Asia), there are the ten dirtiest in each of those locations, too. (Actually, two of the Asian names-of-shame are in India, so perhaps there’s something wrong with TA’s algorithm & they can’t afford human editors.)
What surprises me about the Asian list is that two of the top three are in Singapore. Evidently that country’s government focus on societal niceties like shaggy hair & spitting on the sidewalks doesn’t apply to cleanliness in tourist accommodation.
If you’re headed out to Europe, Asia or India (don’t know whether Trip Advisor doesn’t know or doesn’t care that India is part of Asia), there are the ten dirtiest in each of those locations, too. (Actually, two of the Asian names-of-shame are in India, so perhaps there’s something wrong with TA’s algorithm & they can’t afford human editors.)
What surprises me about the Asian list is that two of the top three are in Singapore. Evidently that country’s government focus on societal niceties like shaggy hair & spitting on the sidewalks doesn’t apply to cleanliness in tourist accommodation.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Recruiters 14
Here’s another Tale from the Recruiter Side: I received an email from one for a contract “Jr. Technical User Documentation Writer”. The fact that I have nothing in any online profile that would support the idea that I’d be a junior writer isn’t what’s noteworthy. Nor is the job location being in a suburb of Sacramento the rather odd part.
No, it’s the recruiter’s email address, which was linda@XXXrecruit.com. But the actual email had a signature block indicating that his/her name is “Suresh. B”, with an email address that doesn’t include “Linda”.
Now, for years when I’ve called various tech support lines & got reps in Bangalore I’ve noticed that they often have noms de phone, such as Ted or Tiffany. Like that’s going to disguise the fact that your accent is straight out of Bollywood. But this is a first—do they think that you’ll be more likely to open an email if it has a Valley Girl name in the email address? Or that it’ll make any phone conversations more intelligible?
No, it’s the recruiter’s email address, which was linda@XXXrecruit.com. But the actual email had a signature block indicating that his/her name is “Suresh. B”, with an email address that doesn’t include “Linda”.
Now, for years when I’ve called various tech support lines & got reps in Bangalore I’ve noticed that they often have noms de phone, such as Ted or Tiffany. Like that’s going to disguise the fact that your accent is straight out of Bollywood. But this is a first—do they think that you’ll be more likely to open an email if it has a Valley Girl name in the email address? Or that it’ll make any phone conversations more intelligible?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Got health?
Here’s something that came my way that takes my mind off the Dalí painting that dealing with recruiters constitutes. It’s a four-minute video presentation of how the world has changed in the areas of health and wealth over the past 200 years.
A couple of things that are interesting to me: the cataclysm of the 1914-1918 war and the influenza pandemic of 1917-1919 causes a visible dip in the global health-wealth continuum. This is the conflagration that 97% of Americans are unaware of.
The second is the (again) obvious effect of colonialism: you’ll notice that the nations of Africa and much of Asia don’t move into the healthy-wealthy quadrant until about 20 years after being cut loose from their imperial masters.
Overall, it’s an example of graphics, for once, being used to actually aid the transfer of information instead of substitute for it.
A couple of things that are interesting to me: the cataclysm of the 1914-1918 war and the influenza pandemic of 1917-1919 causes a visible dip in the global health-wealth continuum. This is the conflagration that 97% of Americans are unaware of.
The second is the (again) obvious effect of colonialism: you’ll notice that the nations of Africa and much of Asia don’t move into the healthy-wealthy quadrant until about 20 years after being cut loose from their imperial masters.
Overall, it’s an example of graphics, for once, being used to actually aid the transfer of information instead of substitute for it.
Recruiters 13
Further to my experience last week with the two recruiters offering the same four-line “opportunity” for me to sign up to, you’ll recall I sent them both a request for more information, which I needed to be able to evaluate the prospect.
Shruti, who sent me the same email twice, never bothered to reply. Santy did respond…but I’m none the wiser. Viz.:
“Hi [Bas Bleu],
“I don’t have much job description from the client . they need a Front line product manager - owns a particular product line, but doesn't necessarily set strategyMust have: Experience with Enterprise and SaaS software product offerings is requiredFamiliarity with Energy domain a major plus
“Warm Regards,
“Santy”
So, the exact same 34 words that s/he sent me on Friday, formatted marginally differently.
I replied that, since this is what s/he had given me originally I still can’t evaluate whether I’m a fit. I did say that if more information (= an actual, you know, JD) comes in, I’d be interested in seeing it. But I know I’ve just flown off the Santy radar screen, the way I did for Shruti’s on Friday.
I understand that when I tell them I need information to make an informed decision about whether I’m a match for a job I’m not speaking any language they understand. For them, there is no “match” or “mismatch”; there’s only a score or no-score. Theirs is strictly a game of quantity, not quality; & that model obviously works for them.
But not for me. So it’s a good thing that I’m not counting on anyone with “recruiter” in his/her title to do anything useful.
Shruti, who sent me the same email twice, never bothered to reply. Santy did respond…but I’m none the wiser. Viz.:
“Hi [Bas Bleu],
“I don’t have much job description from the client . they need a Front line product manager - owns a particular product line, but doesn't necessarily set strategyMust have: Experience with Enterprise and SaaS software product offerings is requiredFamiliarity with Energy domain a major plus
“Warm Regards,
“Santy”
So, the exact same 34 words that s/he sent me on Friday, formatted marginally differently.
I replied that, since this is what s/he had given me originally I still can’t evaluate whether I’m a fit. I did say that if more information (= an actual, you know, JD) comes in, I’d be interested in seeing it. But I know I’ve just flown off the Santy radar screen, the way I did for Shruti’s on Friday.
I understand that when I tell them I need information to make an informed decision about whether I’m a match for a job I’m not speaking any language they understand. For them, there is no “match” or “mismatch”; there’s only a score or no-score. Theirs is strictly a game of quantity, not quality; & that model obviously works for them.
But not for me. So it’s a good thing that I’m not counting on anyone with “recruiter” in his/her title to do anything useful.
Monday, January 24, 2011
The 411 on 911
In case you’ve ever wondered about the emergency communications system, there’s a web site that collates items about it. It’s called 911 Wackos.
Some folks call 911 for strange reasons.
Some folks get into trouble after a 911 call.
Sometimes the 911 operators get into trouble.
The incidents aren’t all in the US, but of the ones that are, it seems a lot of them take place in Florida.
Dunno what to make of that.
Some folks call 911 for strange reasons.
Some folks get into trouble after a 911 call.
Sometimes the 911 operators get into trouble.
The incidents aren’t all in the US, but of the ones that are, it seems a lot of them take place in Florida.
Dunno what to make of that.
Recruiters 12
Well, this is a new one on me—an unsolicited email arrived yesterday in the queue of the email account I use for career correspondence, allegedly from a humanoid recruiter. Here’s the gist:
“Hi there,
“My name is [Name Redacted, because some people Google themselves on the Web & actually find & comment on my posts], and I am a Senior Recruiter here at Taleo.
“I've seen your resume within our database and thought that you might have the skills and experience for this dynamic opportunity based in Dublin, CA.
“After reviewing the attached position description, the first step is to review and reply to the questions below.
“These responses will allow the hiring manager to obtain a nice "snapshot" of your background prior to our follow-up call to discuss your responses.
I will be setting up that call so let me know your availability for the next week.
“If you could attach your resume to the reply email, that would be great!
Thanks again,
[Name Redacted]”
Now, here’s what I think is comment-worthy:
1. I haven’t applied to anything at Taleo itself; I’ve only used their web application to submit applications to companies that subscribe to the software. I haven’t found it to be particularly user/applicant-friendly, but I recognize that this is to some degree a function of the way the subscribing companies have configured it to meet their own arcane screen-them-out requirements, so I’m not holding a grudge against them.
2. This means that Taleo has set up an algorithm to scrape out information from the applications that candidates have submitted to Taleo’s clients, which kind of creeps me out.
3. I of course can’t tell if [Name Redacted] is real, or whether this is a system-disgorged email—it does have a humanoid email address, & there’s a signature block that also has a phone number. But I would not put it past companies to have the corporate equivalent of dial-a-prayer contact details, since they’re much more concerned about not being bothered by applicants than they are about connecting with candidates.
4. If [Name Redacted] is real & really sent this email, I’m not impressed by the idea that he’s working at 1330 on a Sunday. It doesn’t speak to a corporate culture that values the old work-life balance.
5. I’m wondering what Taleo’s algorithm saw in my profile, or what process {Name Redacted] (if he’s a humanoid) followed to send me the email, as the position is for an Alliances Operations Manager, a function I have never performed in my long career of just about everything except pro basketball player & Sherpa. I believe my CV has the words “alliance partners” in one place, with reference to work I did supporting sales teams. How could that possibly kick out my profile in a search for persons with actual, you know, prior experience?
6. However, old [Name Redacted] (or his algo) certainly seems confident about the match—he’s already demanding I give him times for a screening phone call next week.
7. The questions I’m meant to review & respond to would definitely screen me out before any phone call—the very first one asks: “After reviewing the position description, what ‘fit’ do you see between this particular role & your skills & experience?” Uh, not really a whole lot. The third one asks how many years of experience in partner/alliance roles; & the seventh wants to know if I’ve made presentations to senior & executive level management on alliance opportunities or strategies.
I make it a point to blow off as few humanoids as possible, even recruiters who don’t seem to have a firm grasp on the plot, so I’ll reply with something. My challenge is to find the kindest way to say, “check your software calibration, because I’m not really in the same time zone as the requirements for this position.”
Why couldn’t it have been an unsolicited inquiry for a product manager, or for an international change management professional?
“Hi there,
“My name is [Name Redacted, because some people Google themselves on the Web & actually find & comment on my posts], and I am a Senior Recruiter here at Taleo.
“I've seen your resume within our database and thought that you might have the skills and experience for this dynamic opportunity based in Dublin, CA.
“After reviewing the attached position description, the first step is to review and reply to the questions below.
“These responses will allow the hiring manager to obtain a nice "snapshot" of your background prior to our follow-up call to discuss your responses.
I will be setting up that call so let me know your availability for the next week.
“If you could attach your resume to the reply email, that would be great!
Thanks again,
[Name Redacted]”
Now, here’s what I think is comment-worthy:
1. I haven’t applied to anything at Taleo itself; I’ve only used their web application to submit applications to companies that subscribe to the software. I haven’t found it to be particularly user/applicant-friendly, but I recognize that this is to some degree a function of the way the subscribing companies have configured it to meet their own arcane screen-them-out requirements, so I’m not holding a grudge against them.
2. This means that Taleo has set up an algorithm to scrape out information from the applications that candidates have submitted to Taleo’s clients, which kind of creeps me out.
3. I of course can’t tell if [Name Redacted] is real, or whether this is a system-disgorged email—it does have a humanoid email address, & there’s a signature block that also has a phone number. But I would not put it past companies to have the corporate equivalent of dial-a-prayer contact details, since they’re much more concerned about not being bothered by applicants than they are about connecting with candidates.
4. If [Name Redacted] is real & really sent this email, I’m not impressed by the idea that he’s working at 1330 on a Sunday. It doesn’t speak to a corporate culture that values the old work-life balance.
5. I’m wondering what Taleo’s algorithm saw in my profile, or what process {Name Redacted] (if he’s a humanoid) followed to send me the email, as the position is for an Alliances Operations Manager, a function I have never performed in my long career of just about everything except pro basketball player & Sherpa. I believe my CV has the words “alliance partners” in one place, with reference to work I did supporting sales teams. How could that possibly kick out my profile in a search for persons with actual, you know, prior experience?
6. However, old [Name Redacted] (or his algo) certainly seems confident about the match—he’s already demanding I give him times for a screening phone call next week.
7. The questions I’m meant to review & respond to would definitely screen me out before any phone call—the very first one asks: “After reviewing the position description, what ‘fit’ do you see between this particular role & your skills & experience?” Uh, not really a whole lot. The third one asks how many years of experience in partner/alliance roles; & the seventh wants to know if I’ve made presentations to senior & executive level management on alliance opportunities or strategies.
I make it a point to blow off as few humanoids as possible, even recruiters who don’t seem to have a firm grasp on the plot, so I’ll reply with something. My challenge is to find the kindest way to say, “check your software calibration, because I’m not really in the same time zone as the requirements for this position.”
Why couldn’t it have been an unsolicited inquiry for a product manager, or for an international change management professional?
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