Another one bites the sand

Yesterday was a weird news day.

First of all, Muammar El-Qaddafi was reported killed by Libyan rebels who’ve had a remarkable run over the past few months. If true, the world’s a better place for him being out of it, although I’m not sanguine about democracy setting in to a country that has no experience of it.

And it’s appropriate that a dictator who styled himself the über-revolutionary was destroyed by the Arab Spring uprising. Turns out he was a glory that Libya, the Arab nation, the Islalamic nation, Africa and the whole wide world actually could forgo.

But revolutionaries who’ve had an even longer run than the Libyans announced yesterday that they’re renouncing violence. ETA, the Basque separatist/independence movement has called a halt to its campaign of bombings and assassinations that has run for just about the length of time Qaddafi was in power.

They’re going to give peace a chance.

Now, if only we could get Congress to lay down its arms and work together.

Cat burglary, Brit-style

Alright, it’s a few weeks old, but it makes a bit of a change from Republican whack-job tax “plans”, riots in Greece and mega-banks getting risibly low “penalties” for committing massive long-term fraud on their depositors, their investors and the US taxpayers.

The estranged wife of a British Lib-Dem MP has been convicted of catnapping.

No, no—not sneaking a snooze on the job. Feloniously ferreting a feline away from the home of her presumably-soon-to-be-ex-husband’s mistress.

Christine Hemming, 53, doesn’t deny doing it—which would be difficult, as she was caught with the cat on CCTV. She just denies having any clue as to why she would have done it.

I suppose that’s the British equivalent of the “by reason of mental defect or disease” defense. She claims she tried stuffing the kitten, named Beauty, under the fence of a neighbor’s yard—whether in an attempt to restore it to its human or to just ditch the evidence she doesn’t say. But of course, you can’t expect a cat to cooperate and no one’s seen Beauty since then.

I don’t know whether this is a felony or misdemeanor; nor do I know when she’ll be sentenced.

What I really find disturbing is that Beauty has a male littermate, and that John Hemming, MP, named the poor bugger Twinkle.

Now, there’s the real high crime.

Seriously, Netanyahu?

You don’t think this is going to come back to bite you in the butt? 1027 times?

Exercise non-routine

I'm not sure how I feel about this; especially about the claim to have burnt 2000 calories in this short a time.

But I share it anyway.

Express bus to India

You have to understand that Silicon Valley is like Really New Delhi; the South Asian population in this area is upwards of 250K, and a UC Berkeley report indicates that one out of three engineers here is from the Sub-Continent.

Where I am in Sunnyvale, you can’t swing a cat-toy without hitting an Indian restaurant, sari shop or jewelry store. (I need to find out what it is about the jewelry.) And in future I’ll post pix of what I discover around here.

Meantime, I was headed home on El Camino Real when I saw this on the back of the #522 bus, the one running from Eastridge in San José to Palo Alto—right down the backbone of the Valley.

Definitely not in Kansas any more.

A scoop of the past

I was somewhat sad to hear that Friendly’s filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last week.

Friendly’s is a—well, it’s a  down-market chain of restaurants with an emphasis on ice cream.

And they had me at “ice cream”.

But it seems they’re caught between the fast-food and sit-down market segments and just haven’t been able to capture much of either.

I freely admit to having contributed very little to the Friendly’s bottom line. I believe the first time I went to one was in Lexington, Mass. It didn’t impress me; we might have had a “meal” there, or it might have been just dessert. And the last time was in Gettysburg, Penn., when it was definitely just ice cream.

But my most vivid memory of them is going to the Friendly’s that was in Herndon, Va. I’d just moved to the area and my friend Carol Ann and I went there for sundaes, which we got from the take-out window. We sat on the grassy slope in front of the restaurant along Elden Street, in the summer evening, eating ice cream and hot fudge, and just talking about…this and that.

I suppose you could get the same experience from a McDonald’s or a Jack-in-the-Box. But you’d have to do it on plastic or tarmac.

Ugh.

Taking the cake

I still don’t get the whole cupcake thing. I mean, I don’t see how you can make a living selling nothing but overpriced cakelets. (& the ones I had in Seattle—brought round by the department admin to celebrate some non-event back in the days before budgets were a burden—were truly gagworthy.)

But here’s something that boggles the mind even further: shops that sell nothing but bundt cakes.

I was walking around the neighborhood surrounding the Sunnyvale Public Library a month or so ago & came across this:

& then, at the Mountain View Arts & Wine Festival, the store had a booth:

I tasted two of their samples. They were as ghastly as the Seattle cupcakes. Plus, I think I went into insulin shock; I mean—we’re talking serious sugar here.

There are evidently franchises available if you’re looking to get out of the corporate rat race. Just because I don’t get it doesn’t mean there are at least 16 potential customers who might.

When the meeting actually pays off

A while ago a friend of mine sent me this pastiche of elevated terrorist alert warnings. She’s right—it has been around before, but it’s worth running again.

Last week, in fact, one of my standing meetings at work turned out to have no new information to process (it’s order assurance, in case you’re interested; I’m not explaining what “order assurance” is), so the two other people on the call started riffing jokes, first one, then the other. I hauled out this one to read aloud and ended up laughing so much I was leaking tears.

So, I hope it brings you as many giggles as it did Chris, Henry and me:

Current security levels:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled".  So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Every body to get from street...

Last Thursday in the Silicon Valley the news of the death of Steve Jobs competed with the taking down of a gunman who killed three coworkers at a local quarry.

And by “taking down” I mean “shot full of holes and dead, dead, dead.”

The interesting thing to me is that I first found out about it via a voicemail from the local authorities on my landline, alerting all local residents that the alleged perp had been spotted in my neighborhood. The VM included a description of the suspect and his car.

That was the first time I’ve ever had one of those emergency calls. And buildings on both Apple and HP campuses were locked down on account of the local sightings. I will also say that I was really careful about having to take out my trash that evening.

The other interesting thing to me is that the cops blew the guy away in a house about a mile and a quarter away from me.

Maybe there is a reason why my renters’ insurance went up $200 when I moved from San José to here…

Global communication

In case you’re in need of expressing yourself both forcefully & non-verbally, I give you this collection of international rude gestures from The Atlantic.

They may be of particular use if you, like me, spend a lot of your working day on conference calls.

Just make sure that you’re not sending video. I not only turn off the capability, I’ve taped over the web cam on my laptop & blacked out the tape.