This appeared in my spam
folder yesterday. Clearly a variant on the Nigerian 419 scam, but interesting.
I have so many
questions:
Who is Captain Stephen
Laurence, and how did he get involved? (The email address is apparently one
reserved by domain registries for 419 scams. Search on it and you’ll see what I
mean.)
Does he—or Armet William—not
think that a Gmail address looks just the teensiest bit skeevy for a United
Nations account?
I understand that
English is a second language for these guys, but investing in a bit of editing
might lend an air of verisimilitude to their efforts. Perhaps they could hire
all the copy
editors that WaPo apparently laid off? That could be a good investment.
That first
paragraph-as-run-on-sentence is quite the doozy.
What if I don’t have a
cell phone? Does that mean I don’t get my $15M back? What if I don’t want to
give them my cell phone number because I don’t want them texting me spam after
I’ve received my $15M? Can I delay my reply long enough to buy a burner phone?
One I’d only use for collecting $15M from the UN, Nigerian princes and others?
What’s their definition
of nearest airport? Is it commercial? Or civil aviation—would that do? Do I
give them IAD, which is close to home, or DCA, which is close to work? If I
gave them BWI along with the burner phone number, would it make any difference?
I’d be willing to drive to Baltimore to collect the ATM card to my $15M.
Actually, Union Station
is the closest to me. Could the courier come to Union Station?
What’s the tip for the
courier who brings you the ATM card for $15M? I don’t want to seem cheap, but I
just don’t know.
Where’s an ATM that will
disburse my $15M in one withdrawal? Please do not tell me I have to make 30,000
trips to the ATM to get my $15M.
Hope it’s not too tacky
to ask, but how much, exactly, is the “delivering fee”? I mean, I’m sure it’s
nothing in comparison to the $15M, but I’d still like to know.
Apparently Ban Ki-moon
was sleeping on the job, and I didn’t even know this. Really glad that António
Guterres is stepping up to the plate on making things right, and hope the
atrocities are over.
I'm really relieved I'm finally getting my $15M back. I've really missed it.
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