Oh, dear—seems The Most Interesting Man in the World has
suddenly become…less interesting. At least to his employer.
Dos Equis (owned by Heineken) announced a couple of weeks
ago that they were cutting Jonathan Goldsmith, 77, loose and replacing him with
someone more in tune with the brand’s customer base.
That means a Millennial, who will, by definition, be hip
and trendy.
Goldsmith started his gig with the Mexican beer company in
2007, so he’s had a good run, as these things go. TMIMITW was modeled on
Hemingway in appearance and terse, banal dialog, and never seen with a
woman who was within 20 years of his age (even his apparent age). Clearly, he
was the dream of every male over 40.
They gave TMIMITW a testosterone-fueled send-off in a final
commercial, in which he blasts off for a one-way mission to Mars. With a female
astronaut about 50 years younger. If ya gotta go, it’s nice to go first class,
I guess.
I shudder to think what the casting call for his replacement
will be, because imagining the Millennial personification of “staying thirsty” makes
me throw up a little in my mouth.
But if he shows up wearing a hipster hat, there will be
blood.
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