Let it a lone. Please

Dear sweet baby Jesus—I just watched last year’s The Lone Ranger on cable TV.

Thirty years ago a friend of mine described 1981’s The Legend of the Lone Ranger thusly: “In which Klinton Spilsbury proves that Clayton Moore was not the world’s worst actor.”

Well, I can say with absolute confidence that Armie Hammer proves that Klinton Spilsbury was not the world’s worst actor.

And Justin Haythe, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio prove that Ivan Goff, Ben Roberts, Michael Kane and William Roberts weren’t the world’s worst screenwriters.

And it was hard to tell whether Johnny Depp did a worse job of acting than the dead crow on his head.

I absolutely stand in shock and awe at the unremitting dreadfulness of this endeavor. And I hope to God that no one attempts another reboot of this franchise in my lifetime.