Up in the air

I am personally relieved that the TSA has now lifted the interdict on commercial airline passengers carrying pocket knives. They, souvenir baseball bats and golf clubs are now okayed for takeoff.

Not that the agency, following Polonius’ advice to be true to itself, seems to be able to explain exactly why they’re now okay but box cutters still aren’t. Possibly because no one will ever be able to say the words “box cutters” and “airline” and not see planes flying into buildings; but of course they wouldn’t say that even if it were true.

I’m relieved because I carry a Swiss army knife around with me all the time—it’s in the little bag with eye shadow, lipstick and the cheap-ass little nail file I got after my real one got confiscated by some airline in 2002. In addition to the two cutting blades, it has a slot screw-driver blade and a corkscrew. Now that they’re air-legal, so to speak, I don’t have to remember to remove it from my purse and leave it at home, or stick it into a carry-on bag which then has to be checked.

You never want to be without a corkscrew, in my opinion, and that’s why I applaud the TSA’s decision.