Got this last week and found it somewhat amusing:
It’s the snailmail equivalent of those
spam phone calls warning you that your vehicle warranty is about to expire
(they always use “vehicle” because they have no notion that whatever mode of
transport you might have is a car, truck, motorcycle or bus pass), so you
should give them a call toot-sweet.
The document is laid out so that FINAL
NOTICE appears in the envelope window to make sure you’ll open it. They’re
too cheap, apparently, to put that in RED.
But they do use bolding in place of “scare quotes” to emphasize that
they’re just trying to do you a solid, but you’re not cooperating;
what’s wrong with you?
Interestingly, they did not bold
the implication that if you don’t call them before the ides of August you could
somehow go out of compliance with your mortgage and be in big
trouble, buster.
For the record, in no state in the union can
any mortgage require a home warranty as part of the loan. They’re hoping to
confuse people who conflate the term with home insurance or even mortgage
insurance; of course, you don’t find out about that until you call them, and
maybe probably not even then. That’s when the big sales push begins.
I confess I’m fascinated by their random
capitalization. Perhaps they’re graduates of Trump University?
I wonder how many people actually feel
confident in picking up the phone and calling a number that has no company
name associated with it, to discuss private financial information? I
certainly don’t.
I just really hope this is indeed their FINAL
ATTEMPT TO CONTACT me.
©2025 Bas Bleu
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