On kings

As we approach the inauguration of a convicted felon, who—but for a slight majority of those who actually voted last year—would currently be either in court defending his criminal attempt to overturn the 2020 election, or in the process of appealing his conviction for that crime, I’ve been thinking a lot about Aesop’s fable about the frogs and their kings.

Here's the gist:

There was a pond with frogs who thought very highly of themselves. Very important frogs in what was most likely the most important pond in the universe. (Well—so, that made them the most important frogs in the universe, innit?) But they had no ruler worthy of this amazingness, so they petitioned Zeus to send them a king.

“O, mighty Zeus—give us a king to rule over us! Send us someone befitting our status in the world.”

The king of the gods then dropped a log in the pond, making a huge splash. Literally. It frightened the frogs, but after a while some of them noticed that King Log wasn’t engaging in kingly activities, or even, truth be told, any activities at all. Frogs started hopping on the king and mocking him.

“Yah—proper king you are, I don’t think!” they probably said.

Well, after a while, the frog chorus appealed to Zeus again—“This isn’t the kind of king we deserve! We’re very important frogs; send us a real king, who’ll do king things!”

And Zeus sent them a stork. Naturally, the stork started scarfing down frogs, because that’s what storks do.

The frogs were terrorized as their numbers were decimated. Those who escaped wept piteously and petitioned Zeus again to take away this terrible monster.

But Zeus replied, “Nah—you should have realized when you were well off instead of getting ideas above your station. You got what you asked for. Also—there’s this word, “hubris”. You should look it up.”

I can see how some of the frogs in this American pond might consider Joe Biden a do-nothing King Log. In contrast to the Kleptocrat, Biden is muted; his decency and competence guided us through the chaos left by the last Klepto administration. He controlled the pandemic; he brought down inflation and enacted policies that built up business, spawned jobs and invested in infrastructure. But he’s not a flashy guy and he didn’t shit-talk immigrants, allies, neighbors or people who disagreed with him. Republicans hopped all over him, deriding him as useless and unworthy to be our king.

The MAGA frogs, they want flash—they’re very important frogs who haven’t been properly appreciated! And they want a powerful king who’s going to hurt people, bigly! So they elected King Stork, who is now completely unfettered by virtue of the willingness of legislators, the federal judiciary and big corporations to prostrate themselves at his feet and let him do as he pleases.

There is going to be such a slaughter of the frogs as this country has never seen. In little clumps and great big swaths, he will gobble them down without bothering to chew. And they will not understand what has happened, and they’ll blame it on someone else.

Problem is, salamanders, newts, dragonflies and other pond creatures are going to go into the maw, too.

Zeus is laughing his ass off.

 

 

©2025 Bas Bleu