Naked in the silvery moon

Welp, it’s been a bit of a week for Cadet Bonespurs and his minions.

The Orange One himself was given an extremely limited gag order by US District Judge Tanya Chutken in his federal election coup trial because all his willy-waving and whining has a real potential to intimidate witnesses and poison the jury pool.

He immediately whined about how he was told he couldn’t talk about anything and it’s election interference and not fair.

He also got reprimanded by Justice Arthur Engoran in the New York civil fraud case in Manhattan, because he was causing a disturbance while a witness was testifying (against him). I knew he couldn’t go for hours without making a scene.

Then his personal pick for new Speaker of the House, Gym Jordan, face planted in two rounds of voting—even after his allies (in the sense than members of the gang are allies of the capo) literally sent threats to Republicans who weren’t in lock-step. Oh—in the first round, Jordan got 200 votes; it was 199 in the second. That’s not a good direction. (In addition to being an enabler of sexual abuse, Jordan’s only claim to fame is never having proposed legislation that even made it to the House floor in all his 17 years as a Representative. Oh, and he was down with the overturning of the 2020 presidential election, even when insurrectionists were literally in the Capitol looking for colleagues of his to hang. He’s a burn-it-down bully who only gets elected because his district is gerrymandered in the shape of a ruptured duck. You can see why the Kleptocrat likes him.)

As of yesterday afternoon, Jordan had backed down from his “I’ll do whatever it takes to get this job”; he instead was mulling making the Speaker-pro-tempore some kind of shadow Speaker, presumably in the expectation that he can pull the strings on the marionette. (Although he might have to duke it out with Kevin McCarthy for that honor. The interim Speaker is Patrick McHenry, who holds the position solely because he was first on a secret list McCarthy made when he finally got elected after 15 ballots in January. Also, McHenry’s only act as “speaker” was to turf out Nancy Pelosi (minority leader) and Steny Hoyer (minority whip) from their offices, because McCarthy ordered it in an entirely unsurprising act of petty vengeance.)

Let me just say that “temporary-speaker-because-we-can’t-elect-a-real-one isn’t a thing, but with this band of loonies, anything could happen. Jordan may try again.

Oh, and then in the Fulton County, Georgia, RICO case against Bonespurs and 18 co-conspirators, the Kraken lawyer, Sidney Powell, has taken a plea deal and presumably will flip on the ex-president and everyone else. TBH, she is truly such a nutjob that it’s not clear to me how seriously she could be taken as a witness (and remember—she is a licensed lawyer), but 16 of her fellow indictees (the bail bondsman already flipped) may worry about not what she might say but about what documentation she might have, and therefore they could be putting out feelers to DA Fani T. Willis about what kind of deal they might get if they, too, turn on the Kleptocrat.

Remember—the early flippers get the best deals.

Well, anyway—in honor of all this anti-winning, today’s earworm is Rod Stewart’s “I’m a Loser”. Think about Jordan and his idol as you crank up the volume and revel in all the grossness of the lyrics.

Fun fact: I went to a Rod Stewart concert in the 90s with a friend. We got to talking about how when you have sex with someone, you’re really having sex with all the people they’ve ever stupped. We felt really concerned for Rachel Hunter.