Give a mouse a cookie

I do not know what’s going on—it’s nowhere near the end of the quarter, but on Monday two different account managers emailed me separately to ask if I might graciously condescend to grant them a few minutes of my precious time to speak on matters of importance yesterday.

One was fairly direct—he’s working on a deal, and in the course of his rounds discovered that I know someone with the customer involved somehow in making the decision on which vendor to choose. When we spoke, he spent five minutes buttering me up—I work for the division that is the absolute industry leader, that must be marvelous and I must be genius-level smart. But—sadly—when it came to giving him any help, I was functionally useless. I do not know what my friend does in his company, and for that matter, I do not know what the particular solutions are. I don’t do boxes.

But I gave him a few bits of info that I know about my friend as a person (“What about if I host a happy hour?” “He doesn’t drink.”), and he had to go off with that. I know I was a bitter disappointment to him.

When I got the email from the second account manager Monday evening, I IM’d my manager and asked, “Any idea who X is, and why he’d email to ask me if I have five minutes to chat?” Here’s the reply:

“That’s unexpected. He’s a very effective sales guy who works on the [team] team. Keep me posted on how that goes and be mindful of what you offer. If you give a mouse a cookie…he’s going to eat your face.”

Well, yeah.

In the event, this guy was smooth, and a super sharp dresser. I felt like a frump. And I was wearing cashmere. But in this case, I was able to provide more substantive help: I hold the keys to access to one of the products I manage. We’re parsimonious about what we let account managers into; with reason. He was clearly cognizant of that, but he’d paved the way by talking with a couple of people and getting their buy-in.

There was a bit of a kerfuffle, but I got him what he needed, and he was very gracious in his thanks. He told me he’s been with the company a long time, and if I need any help, he knows things.

This is how you build alliances, folks. Being tight with someone who can pull skeletons out of his pocket is a very useful thing. I’ll take that over a happy hour any day.