As you know, it’s Independence
Day, and there’s a lot less comity than normal around what should be a national
celebration. I mean, usually the most discord is about who was supposed to
bring the potato salad to the picnic and why the hell are we swimming in
blinkin’ cole slaw.
This year, it’s
different. For example, on Monday certifiable RWNJ and tinfoil-hat supremo Alex
Jones brayed a call to arms among his flabby-in-mind-and-body followers by announcing
without a shred of either truth or shame that the dreaded Snowflakes of the Left
are about to rise in insurrection.
Or, since “insurrection”
has about two too many syllables for his adherents, here’s what he said:
Well, my fellow snowflakes—who
previously devoted all their energy to squabbling about the virtues of Himalayan
pink versus Fleur de Sel versus Black Hawaiian salt—have responded like
the troupers they are, under those ethically-sourced, naturally-dyed hemp-based clothes.
On social media, of
course.
Now, there are two
general trends that have been crisscrossing Twitter ever since Jones opened his
halitotic yap, #secondcivilwarletters and #civilwarpotluck. With a few
outliers. So I’m just going to let We the People tweet for themselves.
The #civilwarpotluck
was the first one I saw, started possibly by Aunt Crabby:
Tbh, I’m a little leery
of tuna casserole in the summer months, but if we’re going civilwarring, we have
to be willing to make sacrifices. But fortunately, hundreds more stepped up to
the plate. (Some even volunteering to bring
the plates!)
In case you're wondering, I was going to bring brownies, but the Colorado contingent got in ahead of me, so I just said I'd bring a few units of Chateau le Cardboard wine. I mean, everyone means well, but things could get rowdy and better to cut back on breakables, no?
But then there were the
#secondcivilwarletters, styled after the ones made so famous in Ken Burns’
masterwork from (wow!) more than 20 years ago. Ah, the poignancy of those
arrayed before Bowling Green, Hobby Lobby and places that will be enshrined in
history books of the future—their thoughts, their fears, their hopes:
Lest you think all the letters are from only the left, here are a couple from the Redhats:
#Sad!
And here’s one special
one:
Ah—#campfollowers.
Well, one can only read
so many of these heart-wrenching missives before one must refill one’s glass of
organic, fair trade chardonnay.
Just a couple of the
flotsam and jetsam of war:
And one final, wistful
thread:
Courage, comrades. We
shall prevail as we did 153 years ago.
And 100 years ago.
And 73 years ago.
And 10 years ago.
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