Not sure whether Wired
does these roundups of the week’s weirdest animal encounters on a, you know,
weekly basis. If they do, I’m not sure why I’ve not come across them before
this, but I’m totally glad I’ve found this
one. Because…I just know that you cannot make this stuff up.
I mean—a “free-ranging monkey” (is that like free-range
chickens?) “terrorizing” the suburbs of Marseille? Because it fell in with a
bad lot of human monkeys who (wait for it) fed it the simian equivalent of junk
food, chocolates. Le petit singe had to be Tased and is presumably currently in detox, with rehab to follow. Then: the appearances on the talk-show circuit.
New Jersey looms large in this weird in the wild. Well,
as you’d expect, I suppose, because…New Jersey. Pink geese, rampaging rams; you
gotta love it. Plus, the woman who will not believe the obvious explanation for
her unicorn sighting goes a long way to explain the outcome of last month’s
elections.
Kudos to the Amherst students who look upon their
visiting moose as an opportunity to rethink their school mascot. I hope they
give the new representative the obvious name of Bullwinkle. They could then
take on a new persona in keeping with that celebrity’s own academic
institution.
As for the orangutans at the Paignton Zoo in England: if
I opened a Christmas package only to find Brussels sprouts, I’d wrap myself in
burlap, too.
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