It’s been a weird week or so in the
world of men and women in the, um, world. I know I’m not always the sharpest
knife in the drawer, but I’m a little befuddled by some recent news reports out
of the United Nations.
It seems that Iceland and Suriname have announced that
they’re hosting a
conference on gender equality, to be held in January
2015.
For men only.
For men only.
Okay, look—you know
I’m not making that up, don’t you?
No, no—Iceland’s Foreign Minister Gunnar Bragi said, “We
want to bring men and boys to the table on gender equality in a positive way.” He described it as a “Barbershop conference”, and promised “a unique
conference, as it will be the first time at the United Nations that we bring
together only men leaders to discuss gender equality.”
Well, where to start? Where to start?
What, exactly, does “in a positive way” mean in this
context? And by including only men (and boys—I wonder a little about that), is
the implication that women (much less girls) sitting around the metaphorical gender
equality table would somehow produce something less than positive? Negative,
even?
Is “barbershop” some new code word for “XY only”? Are
they planning on breaking out into song, or trimming a little off the sides?
I can’t find where they say this anywhere, but are they
afraid that if they let women in, they might have expectations of, you know, contributing
to the discussion; put forward ideas, recount experiences, that sort of thing? Does
that really make world leaders’ blood run cold?
Is the concern that with women in attendance the men (and
boys) might not get a word in edgewise, because you know those gals can gab? Or
that any attempts at condescension and other forms of testosterone-powered bullshit will be driven
from the stage by shrill catcalls?
Perhaps they feel that they need to get their Y-chromosome
stories in synch for when they emerge smiling through the conclave's white smoke to dictate to everyone in the world what gender equality looks
like, and how and when it will be achieved? Or they just think that 50 percent
of the population shouldn’t worry its pretty little head about this stuff
because they have it in (strong, male) hand?
And, P.S. What’s up with Suriname being one of the
sponsors? I mean, I understand why Saudi Arabia might not be leading the charge
on this one; or India; or Serbia. I’m just…Suriname?
Finally—a global conference on gender equality without
one of the genders present? And not only conceiving it, but announcing it with
such panache, like you’re expecting nothing but kudos for the idea? Guys—what were
you thinking? Could you possibly—any way
at all—have been using the wrong head for this one?
Was there no female around—mother, mistress, manicurist,
money manager—you could have run this by; ask, “So whaddaya think, Babycakes—cool,
huh?” Or did you get that far and then just ignored the incredulous guffaws that
ensued?
Well, evidently the reaction from pretty much anyone with
three synapses firing in sequence has got our Suriname and Icelandic menfolk to
backpedal with some degree of urgency. They have graciously condescended to amend
their original plans to include allowing
women (no mention of girls) to attend the conference on gender equality. Although
not all the meetings.
Of course, it may just be that they were suddenly struck by the
horrified realization that with nothing but males at a conference, there’ll be
no one to fetch the coffees. It’s stuff like that that prods some men to action,
sad to say
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