Monday, February 4, 2013

Penises with teeth--for future reference


Yesterday there was a commemoration in the SF Chronicle of one of their film critics, who—in addition to reviewing movies—does a Q&A column in the Sunday entertainment section of the paper. It’s called “Ask Mick LaSalle”, because—as it happens, his name is Mick LaSalle and people write in to excoriate him, praise him and ask questions about pictures.

Since I’ve only been reading the paper for a couple of years (and only the Sunday edition, since their delivery person in San José couldn’t seem to actually, you know, deliver), I haven’t really paid attention to him.

But yesterday’s retrospective had one vignette that caught my attention; it was a Q/A from 9 April 2006:

“Dear Mr. LaSalle: From one young, aspiring journalist to a seasoned reporter, thank you for the realistic review of King Kong. Your line about the ‘penises with teeth’ is spot-on.

“Ted R. Utoft, St, Paul, Minn.

“Dear Mr. Utoft: Thank you, son. The first rule of journalism -- something your teachers will never tell you -- is that you should always try to get the phrase ‘penises with teeth’ into an article, any article, even when out of context. This is especially important early in your career, as a way of letting folks know that a bright young talent has arrived on the scene. Try this yourself in your school newspaper, and if anyone tries to stand in the way of your creativity, start knocking over furniture. As you represent the generation that will someday replace me, I want to help you succeed in every way possible.”

The review references “an attack by creatures that look like penises with teeth.” Since I’ve not seen the actual, you know, flick, I have no idea who/what these creatures might be. But it might be worthwhile recording it and then fast-forwarding it through to find out.

Meanwhile, I’ll have to work on getting the key phrase into more of my posts.



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