Recruiters 17

Wouldn’t you just know: last week I was contacted by a recruiter for Walmart, for a product manager opening.

He was so sure that I’d grab it that the only questions his email contained were what I want by way of compensation, and he attached a copy of their benefits to further entice me.

I really didn’t know what to tell him. I despise everything about Walmart. Their labor practices are abhorrent, they destroy small businesses and town centers, and their sourcing policies have driven their suppliers to leave the US to manufacture goods in Third World countries where child and slave labor are still vibrant and where there are no pesky requirements for sanitation or safety in the factory.

My first response was shaped around concerns that a career path in a company that’s systematically paid women less and given them fewer promotions than men would be necessarily limited. (The most recent employee lawsuit by tens of thousands of current and former WM female employees is currently before the US Supreme Court; WM is trying to decertify the suit as a class action and make individual women file individual cases.) I mean, I don’t like the idea of being valued at 2/3 of a man, a practice that—while embedded in the Constitution for the purposes of determining national political representation—was kind of rendered moot by the events of 1861-1865, and the 13^th Amendment.

But if I didn’t already have insurmountable ethical objections to working for massa in de big house, that list of benefits would have been enough to chuck the job:

There’s a bewilderment of healthcare insurance options, from Healthcare Reimbursement Accounts (deductibles ranging from $750 to $2200 for the employee only), through High Deductible Plans (obviously with even higher deductibles), to the bog-standard HMO. The benefits guide doesn’t say what the premium costs to the employee are, but my guess is that, between the premiums and the deductibles, the majority of WM’s minimum-wage “associates” can’t afford it and; are effectively without insurance coverage.

They give a whopping six whole paid holidays, and it comes as no surprise that instead of vacation they have the dreaded PTO—paid time off. For the new employee this works out to 12 days per year for all time off: vacation, sick days, time off for medical appointments, job interviews, etc. Plus two floating holidays. Whoopee.

Oh—after 90 days of employment you get a WM discount card, entitling you to 10% discount on their ecommerce site. Ten percent off cheap crap; now there’s incentive.

Okay, I refrained from making any political statements in my reply—I told the recruiter that I don’t have any experience in retail and wished him luck in finding the right candidate.

But here’s the kicker for me: he replied, “For what it’s worth, my hiring manager reviewed a large number of candidates and liked only a couple. You were one of those : )”

I can’t get arrested in the high tech job market but a manager at Walmart picks me out of a boatload of CVs? Ugh—it’s like being back in junior high and only the creepy guys want to ask you to dance.

I mean—the really creepy ones.