Weathering Seattle

Just as “oh, it never gets really hot here in Seattle” was a lie, it turns out that “but we have such mild winters” is also wishful thinking. Since Saturday the 13th, we’ve had three sizeable dumps of snow

& just as this area doesn’t have any mechanism for handling heat—the PNW apparently has not heard about air conditioning for residential purposes—government & business alike are pretty much useless when it comes to dealing with snow.

The drop overnight on the 13th wasn’t really unmanageable, which was good because the city of Bellevue didn’t get around to plowing residential streets until late Sunday. & they don’t seem to understand the concept of sanding the plowed roads. Thank God for TCS.

(What was interesting was that the storm had been predicted for Friday evening: highways from the Eastside into Seattle were clogged starting at 1400, presumably with people trying to get home before the onslaught. Only I was returning from Seattle at 1930, & the incoming traffic was still blocked—presumably with people who thought they’d miss the early panickers. There had been no accidents; it was just traffic.)

Well, fine—we make it through the weekend & onward into the work week. Then comes the storm of Wednesday/Thursday, which really counts as a storm. At least six inches.

When I left for work Thursday morning, I saw only two pick-up trucks with front-end plows attached; they were on a main street in Bellevue. When I turned onto the ramp to I-405N, I was momentarily discombobulated to see no traffic. There were cars on the southbound side, but I was the only one going north.

Good thing, as it hadn’t been plowed & you couldn’t tell where the lanes were. Same for highway 520, although there were cars on that.

I made it into work, but most people “worked from home” (even though the VPN seems to be very problematic). When I got here I understood why many of the long-timers would have stayed away: an email from Facilities announcing that the company was open for business, but that employees who made it in were on their own. Cafeterias operating only in about four buildings, no transportation, walkways not cleared, limited (= no) mail services, etc.

What it didn’t mention was that no one would be replenishing the coffee or beverage cases, restocking cups & eating utensils, or performing any cleaning services. Trash hasn’t been emptied nor washrooms cleaned since Wednesday.

Think about it.

Out in the wide world, traffic was a mess. On Thursday there were multiple closures of interstates & major highways due to accidents; & on Friday you might have seen news footage of two charter buses that broke a guardrail & hung over I-5 for much of the day.

Well, we were sorting things out (barely) when Nature dumped another two to four inches on us late Saturday night. Evidently this was just more than the infrastructure could handle. When I left for work this morning, my street still hadn’t been plowed.

However I struggled in to find the office even emptier than Thursday & Friday & another in the series of emails from Facilities announcing what not to expect. But I had to come in. My neighborhood lost power at 2000 last night, & it’s still out. The temperature in The Rambler this morning was 48°F. Temperature outside was 30°F. It’s going to get colder inside.

A call to Puget Sound Energy customer “service” revealed that they have no earthly notion when it will be restored. A visit to their website indicates that 1096 customers are powerless. & they don’t seem to be all that fussed about getting us back online.

The roads aren’t much better. They’ve been plowed, more or less; grit to come, I suppose. Or maybe they'll just wait for it all to melt. King County's transportation department's efforts seem to be limited to advising citizens not to drive if they can avoid it.

Well, I wouldn’t have, except that I can’t live in 40-degree conditions. Plus, no working from home when you don’t have power.

More snow predicted for tomorrow night, deep joy. Turning to rain on Wednesday, which will muck it up even further.

Metro Seattle has once again done what I hadn’t thought possible: it makes Metro DC look like a paragon of preparedness when it comes to weather management.

Blagging for booze

Chicagoans being Chicagoans, it didn’t take long for local bartenders to come up with cocktails saluting the latest Illinois governor to be headed to the slammer. The WSJ’s Eric Felten reports on a few efforts. Their common ingredient is peach flavor—as in “im-peach”.

O, those clever Chicagolanders!

Felten goes on to discuss a “classic” Chicago cocktail, the Cohasset punch (read the story to make the connection between the hog butcher to the world & a Massachusetts town).

I have to say that, the idea of finding half a canned peach in a glass of booze is somewhat off-putting. It’s awkward enough eating the spear of pineapple in a mai tai or the orange slice in an old fashioned. Half a canned peach? Get outta here!

But still—in the interest of keeping you au courant, I offer it up for your drinking rota.

Music for the season

If you’ve been anywhere but an unwired cave for the past month, you’ve been listening to holiday music. Whether you wanted to or not.

This appears to be a subject of much interest to journalists, even when it’s not a slow news year. Earlier this week the WSJ gave a forum for a former exec of 415/CBS Records to explain to us why retail establishments play holiday songs & also why the same songs start to make us puke after a short while.

Well, whatever.

The NY Times went into greater depth a couple of years ago, analyzing the “upbeat and inviting shopping atmosphere” that shops aspire to. It shouldn’t be surprising to know that the marketers have squeezed every conceivable drop of blood from that turnip, but it is a bit depressing to note the extent to which they have us in their manipulative little clutches.

But the mix cited by Spencer’s, that schlock-o-rama staple of every mall in America, brings me to other musings on seasonal music: worst-ever holiday songs.

Ah, the field is so wide here, but hardly un-trodden. Everyone, it seems, has a die-die-die list of holiday songs—mostly Christmas.

Spinner totes up twelve of them, including Springsteen’s cover of “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town”. (He made other lists, too.) Thankfully, I don’t believe I’ve heard any of them. I have a hard enough time getting through December as it is.

A syndicated column available on many sites also takes a stab at a list. It starts out with “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer” and moves on. This one includes two that would be in my inventory—dogs barking “Jingle Bells” and “Little Drummer Boy”. The columnist specifies Jessica and Ashlee Simpson on the latter, but I hate it no matter who’s singing it.

But apparently NPR had a program called the “Annoying Music Show”, and a few years ago the hosts provided another top-ten, which included “Material Girl” by Petty Booka (embodying “the true meaning of Christmas—a Japanese bluegrass tribute to Madonna”), a medley of “Jingle Bells” (performed by The Klezmonauts, a Klezmer band that plays Christmas carols; performed on rubber bands; and performed on power tools), and “O Holy Night” by the Brady Bunch.

I’m sure you can come up with lists of your own. See if there’s not something that just makes your teeth hurt when it comes on in the elevator.

Happy Holidays, all!

Interred with their bones

Well, Bush has taken advantage of his last month in office to bail out the Gang of Three, despite the obvious mood of we-the-people, tired of having our collective pockets picked to fund the lifestyles of the grotesquely rich and feckless. Chrysler—which probably won’t survive even with its share—and GM are getting $13.4B right away, with another $4B in the next two months.

This “low-interest loan” comes with strings attached, dictating sacrifices—mostly by workers, who are mandated to take wage cuts, lose their jobs-bank funding and have the UAW take responsibility for the healthcare of retirees.

Yeah, GM’s 25 top execs won’t get bonuses for a few months; boo-hoo.

It’s not enough. The top 25 execs should get the sack and new management brought in to replace them. And anyone with a V anywhere in his title should take a salary cut and get no bonus until the company is in the black.

But beyond that, Bush has created a “plan” that’s vague in terms of requirements and metrics. Not surprising, given that this is yet another un-thought-out scheme of this administration with no idea beyond the immediate crisis. (“Long-term” for this crowd is Thursday. Thursday morning.) This means that all the lobbying and jockeying that will inevitably occur as each constituent tries to convince Congress, the Executive and the people that sacrifices should be made by someone else—this will all be on Obama’s watch.

So, no surprise there, then.

Shakespeare was right: the evil that men do does indeed live after them. And this evil is going to be swirling long after Bush has donated all his coloring books to his presidential library and after the Gang of Three's executives have driven in their SUVs to ruin other industries, with severance packages that would fund the retirements of thousands of line workers.

As for the good allegedly interred with their bones? Not seeing any. The auto industry is saved from bankruptcy? Who says? It's not at all clear to me that $17.4B is anything except money tossed down a particularly foul sewer. Thousands of jobs saved? For a while. But way too many of them are useless or incompetent layers of management; and you know they'll be the last to go under this restructuring.

Not to state the blindingly obvious, but this world is just whacked.

Desperate times call for...bears & bagpipes

¡Ay, Dios mio! The WSJ reports on a thriving part of the Spanish economy: debt collection.

This is an example of getting customer insights through empathy: these companies know precisely what’s going to get the attention of the deadbeats. No need to haul away the Benz in the night or go after someone with semi-automatics. Just threaten them with a bagpiper in a kilt.

I particularly liked the gambit for collecting from bridezilla & her spouse—call up the wedding guests & demand payment from them.

Of course that wouldn’t work in the US—it would just give the bridezillas ideas of out-&-out charging guests for the chicken & cake. Plus extra for the bridesmaids’ dresses & the honeymoon in the Maldives.

As for the Russian tactic—that’s just bear abuse.

Pigs on the playground

You know, I just don’t know what to make of this WSJ story on the boars of Berlin.

Major cities in the US have a problem with feral cat colonies. Rather than wholesale slaughter of the animals many organizations run Trap-Neuter-Return programs. You can make arguments for & against returning cats to live in questionable conditions in large urban areas. However, this way the population is presumably at least controlled.

There are also increasing numbers of urban coyotes—across the US. We had them in the DC metro area.

Mixing wild predators with urban humans is just a recipe for unhappiness all around, so I find it interesting that the Germans seem to have taken a computer-language approach: either kill the pigs or invite them in to dinner.

Frankly, the idea of having your toddlers on the park swings when a sounder of boars shows up gives me a major case of the jim-jams. I don’t get the Berliners’ laissez-faire attitude when it comes to this sort of thing. Do they just not make the connection between the idea of "wild animal" & "defenseless child"? Has none of them ever seen what happened when their kid pulled a dog's or cat's tail?

On the other hand, I can see where they’d be put off by the experience of having a guy show up & blow away an entire family of mama & piglets (shoats, boarlets, whatever) in front of your cocktail party or bar mitzvah crowd.

This will be a story worth following.

Stirred, not shaken

Eric Felten delves into the precursor of the ubiquitous martini, the Martinez. Apparently it required something called Old Tom gin, a sweetened variety of the distillation of the Juniper berry.

It’s interesting that one of the sources Felten cites on the Martinez dismisses it as “little more than a molten gumdrop”, inasmuch as most of the overpriced drinks passing themselves off as martinis these days are gag-inducingly sweet.

Evidently Old Tom disappeared from the market but Hayman Distillers has resumed making it & it’s now available in the US. Felten has found a Martinez mecca in a new bar in DC, the Gibson, where bartender-in-chief Derek Brown stirs the concoction 50 times before pouring.

If you can’t make it to DC, you may be able to find the ingredients if you persevere. Alcolog did a taste comparison last month of a variety of gins & rated the Old Tom high. I know I’m not going to find it in the paltry inventory of the Washington state liquor stores—but good luck.

Music to my ears

A friend sent this to me. It’s certainly appropriate for the season’s message, & a nice change.

Crank up the volume & dance, children!

Surprising & amazing GM

Okay, you’ll recall an email GM sent to a colleague assuring him that GM’s not responsible for the mess they’re in and that they’re doing everything possible to undo the damage they didn’t do and if he (the colleague) didn’t contact his congressslime to have them bail out GM the world would end?

They’re at it again.

And you’ll be surprised and amazed to discover that they don’t mention having made any mistakes briefly admitted in the full-page ad they took out in the trades a week ago.

If you’re feeling like a giggle, read on. You just can’t make this stuff up.

----- Forwarded Message ----

From: Your GM Team Your_GM_Team@email.generalmotors.bfi0.co

To:

Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 5:26:50 AM

Subject: Surprising today. Amazing tomorrow. It's GM

[I’m not making up that subject line; that came straight from GM.]

Dear [one-time GM Car Owner because we can’t be bothered to find out you’re no longer in the “family”],

Thank you for being a GM customer. There's been a lot of discussion about the auto industry over the past few weeks, and I want to make sure you know the facts about GM. This is important because with all the media coverage of late about our company and industry, it is evident that there is much misinformation and many very dated perceptions being communicated. The truth and the facts are always helpful. First, we're building our best cars and trucks ever, and we're committed to being the best car company on the planet.

[“Truth”? “Facts”? As if.]

Take a closer look at Chevrolet, Buick, Pontiac, GMC, Saturn, HUMMER, Saab and Cadillac. You'll be surprised.

Our vehicles are more fuel efficient.

19 of our 2009 models have an EPA estimated 30 MPG highway or better — more than Toyota, more than Honda

[Okay, I counted more than 90 models of their eight brands. So 19 may be a fact; but it’s not really truthful or useful information.]

For 2009, we offer more hybrid choices than any other manufacturer. We currently have six hybrids, by mid-2009 we will introduce three more, and by 2012 we will offer 15 hybrid models

11 of our last 13 new-product introductions have been fuel-efficient cars or crossovers. This trend will continue with 22 of our next 24 new-product introductions

Higher quality.

We back our quality with the Best Coverage in America:
A 100,000-Mile/5-Year Transferable Powertrain Limited Warranty.(1) Plus, Roadside Assistance(1) and Courtesy Transportation Programs.(1) This coverage is superior to Toyota, Honda, Nissan and Ford. We believe in our quality and reliability, and we back it up!

[Well, but people regularly put 200K miles on their Toyotas and Hondas, so the question arises: why does GM think they need 100K mile/5-year warranties?]

The 2008 Chevy Malibu and Chevy Silverado were the "Highest Ranked Midsize Car and Large Pickup in Initial Quality" according to J.D. Power and Associates(2)

Safe.
37 of our 2009 models have five-star frontal crash safety ratings(3)

['Kay, remember: more than 90 models. So apparently GM thinks having only 40% of their models five-star rated is noteworthy.]

We offer the safety and security of OnStar,(4) including Automatic Crash Response,(5) OnStar Vehicle Diagnostics(6) and Turn-by-Turn Navigation.(7) Not Honda. Not Toyota. Not Ford. Not Chrysler. Not Nissan. Not Dodge

[Of course, you PAY for this safety and security, an annual subscription. I hope they’ve improved since I tried it—a GPS device works much better than their humanoid location finding/routing service.]

The proof is on the road today.

Chevy
The Cobalt XFE offers an EPA estimated 37 MPG highway. More than Toyota Corolla or Honda Civic DX8

The Malibu offers an EPA estimated 33 MPG highway, which is better than Toyota Camry LE or Honda Accord(9)

The Traverse offers the best highway fuel economy of any eight-passenger crossover,10 an EPA estimated 24 MPG highway. It has more interior space than Honda Pilot or Toyota Highlander

The Silverado is Car and Driver's Best Pickup 2 years running.(11) The Silverado XFE offers an EPA estimated 21 MPG highway. No other large pickup beats it. Not Ford. Not Dodge. Nobody.(12)

[But, um, who exactly is buying large pickups?]

Buick • Pontiac • GMC
The eight-passenger Buick Enclave crossover is quieter than Lexus RX 350.(13) And with an EPA estimated 24 MPG highway, it gets better highway gas mileage than Lexus RX 350 and Acura MDX(14)

The Pontiac G5 XFE offers an EPA estimated 37 MPG highway. More than Toyota Corolla or Honda Civic DX(8)

[But they’re planning on tossing away most of Pontiac, so why are they pishing about it here?]

The GMC Sierra XFE offers an EPA estimated 21 MPG highway. No other large pickup offers better highway mileage. Not Toyota. Nobody.(15)

[Um, see above about nobody buying large pickups. Nobody.]

Saturn
The AURA midsize sedan offers best-in-class(16) highway fuel economy. Its EPA estimated 33 MPG highway beats Toyota Camry LE and Honda Accord17

The VUE Hybrid has the best highway fuel economy in its segment:(18) an EPA estimated 32 MPG

[Yeah—Saturn’s one of the brands they’re trying to dump altogether.]

Cadillac • Saab • HUMMER
The Cadillac CTS is a 2009 "Best Resale Value" Award winner from Kelley Blue Book's kbb.com.(19) It is one of Car and Driver's 2009 10Best. And it was also selected a top safety pick by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety(20)

The Cadillac Escalade Hybrid eight-passenger luxury SUV offers an EPA estimated 20 MPG city. Better than a 2008 MINI Cooper S Convertible with automatic transmission(21)

[How pathetic is comparing a Cadillac SUV with a Mini Cooper?]

The Saab 9-3 Sport Sedan, SportCombi and Convertible have earned the 2009 Insurance Institute for Highway Safety's "Top Safety Pick" award in the midsize category for the third straight year(22)

[Okay, they’ve been talking about selling off Saab for at least six years.]

The HUMMER H3 has a lower annual fuel cost than Nissan Pathfinder(23)

[If you leave it in the garage.]

And our future looks even brighter.

The upcoming Chevy Volt (expected launch date late 2010) represents a fundamental reinvention of the American automobile industry. The Volt will deliver up to 40 miles(24) on a single electrical charge, well within the daily commute of nearly 80% of Americans. It represents a giant step toward energy independence

[And how many decades did GM fight the idea of building any car that didn't suck up fossil fuel like frat boys at a kegger?]

GM will also continue to invest in hydrogen fuel cell technology, which is capable of reducing automobile tailpipe emissions to non-polluting water vapor. Already, GM has deployed 90 Chevy Equinox compact SUVs to people in what constitutes the world's largest market test fleet of hydrogen fuel cell vehicles

All made by GM. Surprised?

Here's something else amazing: the Red Tag Sales Event,(25) which continues through January 5, 2009. The price on the tag is the price you pay. See some red, save some green.

[Ah, right--the commercial. You knew this was coming, didn't you?]

It's a smart time to buy GM. Visit gm.com for more surprising reasons why.

Sincerely,

Mark LaNeve

This is an email advertisement. If you prefer not to receive any unsolicited marketing emails regarding GM vehicles, click here.

To review the GM Privacy Statement, click here.

1) Whichever comes first. Excludes 2009 Saab vehicles. See dealer for limited warranty details.

2) Chevrolet Malibu and Chevrolet Silverado LD received the lowest number of problems per 100 vehicles among midsize cars and large pickups, respectively, in the proprietary J.D. Power and Associates 2008 Initial Quality StudySM. Study based on responses from 81,530 new-vehicle owners, measuring 344 models and measures opinions after 90 days of ownership. Proprietary study results are based on experiences and perceptions of owners surveyed in February–April 2008. Your experiences may vary. Visit jdpower.com.

3) Government star ratings are part of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's (NHTSA's) New Car Assessment Program (www.safercar.gov).

4) Call 1-888-4-ONSTAR (466-7827) or visit onstar.com for details and system limitations.

5) Available on select 2007 and newer GM models.

6) Capabilities vary by model. Visit onstar.com for details and system limitations.

7) Requires ABS and Directions & Connections Plan. Not available in certain areas. Visit onstar.com for coverage map. Not available on Pontiac Vibe and Saab 9-3 and 9-5.

8) Comparable Toyota Corolla with an EPA estimated MPG 35 highway and Honda Civic DX with an EPA estimated MPG 34 highway.

9) Malibu with available 4-cylinder engine and 6-speed automatic transmission. Comparable Honda Accord and Toyota Camry LE, both with an EPA estimated 31 MPG highway.

10) Based on GM Mid-Utility Crossover segment. Excludes other GM vehicles.

11) Car and Driver 2008.

12) Based on GM Large Pickup segment and Silverado XFE with 5.3L V8 engine and an EPA estimated MPG 15 city, 21 highway. Ford F-150 SFE with 4.6L V8 engine and an EPA estimated MPG 15 city, 21 highway. Dodge RAM 2WD with 5.7L V8 engine and an EPA estimated MPG 14 city, 20 highway. Excludes other GM vehicles.

13) Based on independent testing.

14) Buick Enclave FWD, Lexus RX 350 FWD and an EPA estimated 23 MPG highway, Acura MDX and an EPA estimated 20 MPG highway. 15) Based on GM Large Pickup segment. Toyota Tundra 2WD with 5.7L V8 engine and an EPA estimated MPG 14 city, 18 highway. Excludes other GM vehicles.

16) Based on GM Mid-Car Sedan segment and an EPA estimated MPG 33 highway (gas), MPG 34 highway (hybrid). Excludes other GM vehicles.

17) Saturn AURA with available 4-cylinder engine and 6-speed automatic transmission. Comparable Honda Accord and Toyota Camry LE, both with an EPA estimated MPG 31 highway.

18) Based on GM Compact SUV-Crossover segment and EPA estimated MPG 32 highway.

19) Vehicle's projected resale value is specific to the 2009 model year. For more information, visit Kelley Blue Book's kbb.com. Kelley Blue Book is a registered trademark of Kelley Blue Book Co., Inc.

20) Based on IIHS segmentation and testing results. IIHS results based on front-, side- and rear-impact tests and the availability of Electronic Stability Control.

21) 2008 MINI Cooper S Convertible with automatic transmission and an EPA estimated 19 MPG city. 22) Saab 9-3: Based on IIHS segmentation and testing results. IIHS results based on front-, side- and rear-impact tests and the availability of Electronic Stability Control.

23) Based on EPA Annual Fuel Costs and EPA estimated MPG. H3 EPA estimated MPG 14 city, 18 highway. Pathfinder EPA estimated MPG 14 city, 20 highway (premium fuel recommended).

24) Assumes fully charged battery. Actual range may vary depending on driving habits and conditions. Vehicle features and performance capabilities subject to change without notice.

25) Tax, title, license, dealer fees and optional equipment extra. Not available with some other offers. At participating dealers only. Take delivery by 1/5/09. See dealer for details.

For Copyright & Trademark Information, click here.

The marks of General Motors, its divisions, slogans, emblems, vehicle model names, vehicle body designs and other marks appearing in this email are the trademarks and/or service marks of General Motors Corporation, its subsidiaries, affiliates or licensors. ©2008 GM Corp.

Buckle up, America!

General Motors Corporation

100 Renaissance Center 482-A00-MAR

Detroit, MI 48265

High finance & misdemeanors

Interesting follow-on to the breaking story on Bernie Madoff, the hedge fund exec who’s lost around $50B (known so far in the US) in what he’s confessed to be an elaborate Ponzi scheme.

The BBC reports that British banks are now whining that their falling for the Madoff come-on to the tune of a couple of billion dollars more of their clients’ money is all down to US failure to regulate hedge funds.

Let me get this straight: you toss your clients’ dough hand over fist into “investments” precisely because they’re high risk/high yield & because you AND your clients are greedy bastards…& it’s somehow the fault of US regulators that it’s all gone pear-shaped?

Evidently the term “due diligence” has no meaning in the world of hedge funds.

I’m not saying the regulators weren’t asleep at the wheel—or at least acting in accordance with current administration policies to turn the high-stakes investment business into the wild west. But this trans-Atlantic finger pointing & pouting is just symptomatic of the problems with the whole corporate world.

Nothing’s wrong; & if there is, I didn’t do it.