I first encountered today’s entry for National Poetry
Month in high school. I revisit it periodically because I’ve always loved it.
A. E. Housman’s “Terence, This Is Stupid Stuff” is from
his A Shropshire Lad collection. I
suppose the more famous one from that book is “When I Was One-and-Twenty”, in
which he expresses an older man’s understanding of how love works that he did
not have when he was a youth. I actually find that a bit facile.
But “Terence”? This one’s got meat on its bones. The
Terence referred to is the Roman playwright. The first section of the poem is one
of his friends moaning about how Terence is always producing such grim fare,
and asking for something with a bit more sparkle.
The poet replies by pointing out that life is not all
skittles and beer, and then gives the example of an ancient king who outlived
all his would-be assassins by embracing the ills they have to offer.
The last line always gets me. Always.
'Terence,
this is stupid stuff:
You
eat your victuals fast enough;
There
can't be much amiss, 'tis clear,
To
see the rate you drink your beer.
But
oh, good Lord, the verse you make,
It
gives a chap the belly-ache.
The
cow, the old cow, she is dead;
It
sleeps well, the horned head:
We
poor lads, 'tis our turn now
To
hear such tunes as killed the cow.
Pretty
friendship 'tis to rhyme
Your
friends to death before their time
Moping
melancholy mad:
Come,
pipe a tune to dance to, lad.'
Why,
if 'tis dancing you would be,
There's
brisker pipes than poetry.
Say,
for what were hop-yards meant,
Or
why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh
many a peer of England brews
Livelier
liquor than the Muse,
And
malt does more than Milton can
To
justify God's ways to man.
Ale,
man, ale's the stuff to drink
For
fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look
into the pewter pot
To
see the world as the world's not.
And
faith, 'tis pleasant till 'tis past:
The
mischief is that 'twill not last.
Oh
I have been to Ludlow fair
And
left my necktie God knows where,
And
carried half way home, or near,
Pints
and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then
the world seemed none so bad,
And
I myself a sterling lad;
And
down in lovely muck I've lain,
Happy
till I woke again.
Then
I saw the morning sky:
Heigho,
the tale was all a lie;
The
world, it was the old world yet,
I
was I, my things were wet,
And
nothing now remained to do
But
begin the game anew.
Therefore,
since the world has still
Much
good, but much less good than ill,
And
while the sun and moon endure
Luck's
a chance, but trouble's sure,
I'd
face it as a wise man would,
And
train for ill and not for good.
'Tis
true, the stuff I bring for sale
Is
not so brisk a brew as ale:
Out
of a stem that scored the hand
I
wrung it in a weary land.
But
take it: if the smack is sour,
The
better for the embittered hour;
It
should do good to heart and head
When
your soul is in my soul's stead;
And
I will friend you, if I may,
In
the dark and cloudy day.
There
was a king reigned in the East:
There,
when kings will sit to feast,
They
get their fill before they think
With
poisoned meat and poisoned drink.
He
gathered all the springs to birth
From
the many-venomed earth;
First
a little, thence to more,
He
sampled all her killing store;
And
easy, smiling, seasoned sound,
Sate
the king when healths went round.
They
put arsenic in his meat
And
stared aghast to watch him eat;
They
poured strychnine in his cup
And
shook to see him drink it up:
They
shook, they stared as white's their shirt:
Them
it was their poison hurt.
I
tell the tale that I heard told.
Mithridates,
he died old.
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