Parliamentary procedure

It turns out that US Congress-slime aren’t the only lawmakers who believe that election to office entitles them to live like corporate managers & stick their constituents for their day-to-day expenses. For the past few days the Telegraph has been making bales & bales of hay about Members of Parliament whose expenses smell decidedly fishy.

The stories started out with Labour Party members’ peccadilloes, as you’d expect from the Torygraph. By way of sampling, ex-Agriculture Minister David Hogg stuck the British ratepayer for £20K/year for the past five years for “second home allowances”, which included £2,115 for clearing a moat, £646 for miscellaneous stuff around stables & £40 for piano tuning.

All of which is obviously desperately related to running the agriculture ministry.

Hazel Blears, Communities Secretary, filed for expenses on three separate properties in a year, including £5K for furniture in three months. Dunno what a “communities secretary is”, but I suppose you need furniture for when the communities come calling.

Margaret Beckett, Housing Minister, also in the three-homes club (including a “grace-&-favour” accommodation supplied rent-free by the taxpayers) hit up the good citizens of Britain for £500 for hanging baskets & potted plants.

&, one of my faves, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith expensed two pay-per-view porn movies her husband ordered up in a hotel. Well, you know—it’s hard being a ministerial spouse, all by yourself in a strange room; the taxpayers really owe you that, don’t they?

It probably really sticks in the Torygraph’s craw, but the irregularities aren’t limited to Labourites; the Conservatives are right up there at the trough, too.

Alan Duncan, millionaire MP & shadow leader, submitted claims for thousands in gardening expenses, including £598 to overhaul a ride-on lawn mower & another £41 to fix a tire on same.

David Healthcoat-Amory, MP for Wells, claimed £388 for horse manure.

Very big on gardening, these Tories.

But wait—there’s more: even the Lib-Dems got in on the pork. Andrew George hits up the ratepayers £847/month in mortgage for a £300,000 flat exclusively inhabited by his student daughter.

There’s a huge outcry now—Labour looks in danger of losing the next general election, although I don’t know whom to choose among all the parties, since they’re all equal opportunity grafters. MPs are scurrying to explain how they’ve scrupulously adhered to the letter of the expense regulations; &, besides, they didn’t have the first notion that horse manure & porn flicks aren’t really, you know, reasonable & customary.

Well, pols are pols the world over.

What’s interesting is that the Telegraph’s story is actually the result of an American reporter who cut her investigative teeth on investigating Washington state’s legislators. She’s spent the past five years pushing to get Parliamentary expenses out into the light of day. Seems they’ve benefited from rules that don’t require transparency.

With the predictable results.

It’ll be amusing to watch the fall-out. No one does umbrage-cum-pomposity like an MP. & I'll bet the senior management of failed British banks are toasting the MPs all around their gentlemen's clubs, for distracting the public from their excesses.

I guess it does all work out in the end.