In case you’re at home, hunched over the latest World Health Organization report on the swine flu pandemic, I offer up something to lighten your day a bit.
Ref: item 1, it’s a bit ironic that Rudolph survived and Montgomery Ward died.
Item 2: can anyone be in doubt that that abomination was devised to sell canned food-like substances? They specify the brands of the cream of mushroom soup, fried onion rings and green beans.
(As an aside, I never had that casserole until my then-partner and I went to his family’s for Thanksgiving and his mother, a Russified Armenian from Tehran, served it up. I was appalled. On the other hand, my own mother wasn’t an advocate of the fresh food movement. I was an adult before I ever tasted a green bean that didn’t come out of a can.)
Item 3: I love the part about De Beers encouraging surprise proposals because a man will spend more money on an engagement ring if he’s not accompanied by his fiancée.
Item 4 doesn’t address that whole flower aspect of exploiting Saint Valentine’s Day. That’s got to represent even more industrial romance revenue than chocolates. Trust me: the price of a flower arrangement doubles or triples if you’re having it delivered on 14 February as opposed to any other day in the calendar.
Except for Mother’s Day.
Item 5: that 96% of couples registering doesn’t count all the people (mostly women) who register at stores ranging from Tiffany to Target if the get engaged or divorced, move to a new city or apartment, turn 40 (or 30, or 50) or just feel entitled.
Anyhow—you’ll now have something to chat about after you’re allowed to go back to work or attend cocktail parties.
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