All that glitters

Filed under the heading of: dang, the Internet, I give you this service, which you may heretofore not have realized you needed, but reconsider:

Yes, it’s ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com.

For $9.99 (Australian, so—at time of writing--$7.88 USD), those clever folks at ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com promised to mail a packet of “this-shit-sticks-on-everything” glitter to the person or persons with whose day you really totally want to screw. From their FAQs:

Q. “Will the recipient know who sent the glitter?”

A. “Not unless you open your mouth.”

Q. “Why should I pay you to send glitter to someone I hate?”

A. “First off, use your fucking imagination. We’re going to be pouring a tonne of glitter into an envelope with a folded up piece of paper. You know what’s going to happen when that fuckface opens the envelope & pulls out the letter? The craft herpes will be released & will go everywhere.”

Q. “Why are you so obsessed with glitter?”

A. “Go fuck yourself”

The service so thoroughly meet a universal need that for a while when you clicked Buy Now you received the message that the proprietor(s) were so inundated with orders that new sales were suspended while they fulfilled existing ones.

However, this week it was revealed that one of the best game-changing paradigm-shifting next-big-thing innovations of the entire Interwebs was nothing more than a really, really successful prank.

And by “successful”, I mean: he sold it last week on Flippa.com for $85,000 USD. The purchaser has announced that he will fulfill the 10,000-order backlog and he has resumed sales. Both PayPal and credit cards. (“Yes, we know PayPal is a shitty company, hell why not send those dicks some glitter?”)

So you see, children, how the power of Internet can be used for good and the betterment of mankind? And how Aussies totally rock the ether?