Absinthe makes the heart...

That wild and crazy guy, Richard Branson—he’s taken domestic flights to entirely new, erm, heights.

An email came through announcing that Virgin America, the US offshoot of his Virgin empire, is now offering absinthe as an in-flight drink choice. “Le Tourment Vert” authentic French absinthe”, to be precise; le tourment vert meaning “green torment.”

Absinthe is a relative of wormwood, which has been the death of many an artist or artist manqué. It’s an herbal liquor, tasting like anise, and has been banned by the US and many European countries for some time. Since the 1990s it's made a return to the marketplace.

Now here’s the thing: absinthe isn’t actually a jolly sort of spirit. Painters of the 19th and 20th centuries have given us these depictions of absinthe fans:

Degas’ “Absinthe Drinkers” aren’t really anyone you want to be sitting between on a trans-continental flight.

You could blame the visual distortion on Picasso’s Blue Period style; but you’ll notice that his “Absinthe Drinker” is as intent on her drink as Degas’ pair.

The “Absinthe and Carafe of Water” by van Gogh is the most innocuous presentation. Ironic, given that van Gogh was a heavy user of the substance.

And, lest you think that we of the 21st Century are beyond all that torment, I give you this from the Czech Republic:

Mildly amusing at a trendy club. Not something I want to see even a few rows behind me 35,000 feet over Omaha.

Virgin America evidently has many cocktail suggestions, including the “Mile High”—absinthe, lemon-lime soda and lemons, “shaken and served over ice”.

And that’s just inviting someone to puke on his seatmates.

Well—Branson’s done well so far, so maybe this’ll work out, too. But air travel these days is already torment enough; I don't see why we need to add to it.