Tick-tock

So, this happened. Again.

I reported in January the sudden, ah, pivot in my employment status. And when last I updated you three months ago, it looked as though at least someone saw a future for me with my current employer. I mean, clear communication does not seem to be a cultural strength in this outfit, but I had understood that there would be use for me once the business plan is done this month.

With that thought in mind, I’ve been beavering away on the plan (a process that includes a not inconsiderable element of cat herding to get a straight—or even only somewhat wavy—story around what, exactly, this program is going to do). I’d got signoff from my manager to attend the Grace Hopper Celebration in September. (I went last year as part of my work managing innovations.) In fact, I got literal signoff on my expense for registering for the conference at a meeting with her on Monday, where I presented the mother-of-all-financial-models. Everything seemed fine.

Then, Tuesday evening, an email appeared in my queue from the woman in HR responsible for managing benefits—the one who balances being out of the office more often than in with seemingly being unable to deliver on your benefits choices. (It took repeated emails and visits to her office from June to November last year before the money being taken out of my paycheck for retirement got into the right accounts.)

(Look: my Outlook folder for correspondence with HR is labeled Clown Car. ‘Nuff said.)

Here’s the text of that email: “I was made aware that you may be leaving at the end of the month due to funding for your position. Do you have any questions regarding your benefits?”

Why, yes—yes, I do have questions.

So I forwarded the email to my manager, basically asking, WTF? The response I got was not entirely reassuring. The company funds covering my salary do end on the 30^th, but she’s scrambling to cobble together monies from various sources to cover me until October, when some big grants are expected to come in. “It would not make sense to stop this work now when we are getting traction and funder interest.” And she said we could talk in person yesterday “if you like.”

Well, yes; yes, I would. I mean—WTF?

In person, she started off by saying, “Your issue is a non-issue.” Well, no, it’s not; not to me. But the gist of it is that she recognizes that what I bring to the table does not otherwise exist in her organization, and it’s a necessary skillset. Great. (She also was pissed off at HR for jumping the gun in their size 11 Doc Martens. “They’re slow on everything except what they should be slow at.”)

But I do not like the notion of continually scrambling around to find funds to pay my salary, and my travel expenses and my bloody benefits. It means I’m working under a sword of Damocles, and that does not bring out my best work. So I have to up my job search game. Again.

(More and more I feel like Sergeant Murtaugh: I am too old for this shit.)

I also don’t like that she doesn’t have enough money on hand from existing grants to get me through to October, and needs to ask the CEO, through his boy-wonder chief-of-staff, for half the dosh. The only thing good about this is that I don’t have to be present at that particular discussion.

Oh—and when I replied to the benefits chick yesterday to advise her to deal with my manager, I got an automated out-of-office reply.

Because of course.