At the time of this writing,
the polls are still open across the United States, and there’s no telling who’s
ahead in the Presidential election.
Well, except if you’re
Breitbart, which has called the election for the Chaos Monkey, on the same page
that they’re foaming at the mouth about voter fraud. No cognitive dissonance
there, then.
Anyhow, I’m tucked up in my living
room, fairy lights, candles and wee drap of Glenmorangie, avoiding any news
reports, and pulling in a little frisnic from Monday, because it might be my
last chance to laugh about this election for four years.
Around noon on Monday my
Twitter feed lit up with news that one of the Monkey’s spokesbimbos had decried
Jay Z’s appearance on behalf of Hillary Rodham Clinton (the Monkey was in a
real pout about his lack of celebrities; evidently even he’s having a hard time
proclaiming that Scott Baio, the Duck Dynasty and Ted Nugent are the best
celebrities). Because of his vulgar lyrics.
(Unlike her orange lord’s
vulgar life.)
Specifically—and you know I
am not making this up—singing about “throwing mazel tov cocktails”.
Quelle scandale!
Well, I got to thinking
about it—as did everyone else on social media—you know, what would a mazel tov
cocktail look like? It would have to include Mad Dog or Manischevitz, plus
something bitter. Either Angostura or horseradish.
Well, here are some of the
recipes put forward on the Twitters-dot-com:
Meanwhile, I believe I’ll
just top up the Glenmorangie.
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