Agile dancing

I wrote yesterday about system-generated emails from recruiters—I focused on ADP because it was top of mind, and so wonderfully inept. Yet theirs is all auto-nonsense.

Here’s something that came from Walmart—another GHC sponsor—although I’m not sure this one was through GHC. (Well, it came to my work email address, which is the one on record at GHC, so maybe it is.)

But no, this is a house recruiter’s attempt to be…memorable, by throwing handfuls of jargon into a blender and mixing them up with way too many metaphors and weird capitalization.

Look, I’m not even sure what he means by “It never hurts to get out on the Dance Floor!” Sometimes it does, if you’ve got a klutz for a partner. Or if someone posts video to SoMe.

Furthermore, who the everloving hell uses “scrum” as a transitive verb?

At any rate—I looked at the job he was hoping would be of interest to me wasn’t bad. But it’s for Walmart, so taking it would be like trying to make the operations of Mordor run more efficiently. Walmart stands for everything I loathe in America: despicable sourcing practices, reprehensible labor practices, stack-em-high-and-sell-em-cheap business practices. They are a blight on the face of the earth. I thanked him, but said that retail and ecommerce are not for me.

He’ll have to get out on that Agile Dance Floor and scrum it with someone else.