Not a man-bites-dog story

No, it’s a bear-bites-dog story. Followed by a woman-clocks-bear-in-the-snoot-to-save-dachshund story.

Evidently bears eat a rounded diet that includes berries & beagles; or, at least, in the absence of the former they go for the latter.

But since it now has a sore nose, this particular bear may move on to bratwurst & buns. Or maybe couscous & cupcakes.

Speaking in tongues

Another from the “America, goniff” files: there’s another New Yorker to make the Twitterati giggle. Based on his attempts to speak Spanish to his constituents, Mayor Michael Bloomberg has inspired a faux-Spanglish-tweeting web presence. Se llama El Bloombito.

El B evidently was born of the Hurricane Irene communications blitz; Bloomberg doesn’t seem to have discovered Rosetta Stone. Or Berlitz.

But I still hold dear my Bronx Zoo Cobra, who—while not as verbose as Bloombito—knows how to deliver a punch line.

Constructive time waster

In case you’re feeling too productive, I give you this vocabulary quiz.

Betcha can’t do just one.

Jury duty 2.0

Another one for the “America, gonif!” file: a juror in a Texas civil case has been cited for contempt because he tried to “friend” the defendant on Facebook last month. She reported him to the court and he was booted off the jury.

Jurors had been instructed not to discuss the case with either humans or social media; but that was apparently more than Jonathan Hudson, 22, could bear.

It wasn’t enough that he tried to friend her; after she ratted him out he still tried to hook up with her.

I’m guessing she’s a looker.

Sadly, though, I’m betting this is a harbinger of things to come. Not just people Tweeting from the jury room or sending 43 Facebook status updates from the courtroom; but people thinking of jury duty as a prime opportunity to hit on trial figures.

You thought the O.J. trial was a circus...

Recruiters 21

For those of you who think I might be exaggerating the ignorance  illiteracy of the recruiters I’ve encountered, let me just present the latest email I’ve received:

For the record, my name is not San. Perhaps she thought she was addressing the entire greater San Francisco Bay area. Or was giving me a Japanese honorific. While omitting my actual, you know, name.

I’ve never heard of bluewolf™, so I hardly see how it could be the nation’s leading technology consulting firm. I’m thinking IBM or Booz Allen Hamilton or even Comsys would rank higher than this bluewolf™ crowd.

Charlotte apparently thinks that use of UPPER CASE, bold typeface & exclamation points! will further her cause. (The frightening thing is that it may do that for some people.)

The job itself wasn’t a match, so no surprise there.

I just wish these people would hire someone who knows about setting up mass emails, & think about the use of text enhancement.