Tut-tut

Spike Milligan is more famous for his long career as an entertainer—actor, comedian, musician on stage and screen—than for his poetry, but it’s mixed in there, along with being a writer and playwright. In keeping with his puckish nature, his poems are generally silly.

We see that in today’s entry for National Poetry Month, where Milligan imagines a sort of Gingham Cat and Calico Dog nocturnal discussion among the letters along a schoolroom wall. It’s a nice respite from everything that’s going on, and harkens back to a day when classrooms weren’t political and ideological battlefields.

Happy days, eh?

“The ABC”

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."

 

 

 

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