Friday, June 11, 2021

A true survivor

Well, alrighty, then—for the second Friday in Pride month, we should have something from Elton John. I’ve pulled out “I’m Still Standing”, because it seems emblematic of everyone who’s made it through the pandemic, but also because this video reminds me so much of a sales conference my company had at Cannes back on the cusp of the New Millennium.

Here are some of the highlights I recall:

The EMEA GM (within a year, company CEO) got into a tussle with the VP of sales out on the hotel patio at the welcome reception, and they both ended up in the pool. I have pix.

(The VP was wearing expensive loafers. He was not best pleased.)

The company made attendees share rooms with colleagues. I ended up with someone I’d never met before. That policy absolutely creeps me out. (One of my colleagues came out to her assigned roommate before the trip. The roomie was evidently the only person in the office who didn’t know, and it turns out she didn’t care.)

The big “team building” exercise was to be divided into teams, given movie props and a video camera, and told to “make a film”. (We were there the week before the big Cannes Film Festival. It was actually the week of the Cannes Adult Film Festival, if you’re asking.) Our props were Darth Vader’s helmet and cape, and a light sword. Having a certified maniac assigned to the team resulted in a video that absolutely horrified the global head of HR, who had come over from Ottawa; I assure you with all my heart that had such a thing been shown at any corporate event in the US, the company would still be embroiled in lawsuits 20 years on.

However—my team won, and I still have the director’s chair that each of us got as a prize. Also, it was a really funny video.

I think this was the event where the GM/future CEO put on a kilt, came out with the sword Gibson used in Braveheart and mooned the audience. But that might have been a different time/place.

Possibly because of the shared room accommodation, a sales director and one of the account managers on his team had a right good shag one night on the beach outside the hotel. Many people saw it and had a right good laugh about it. Some time later the (female) account manager was let go; the director kept his job.

One of the account managers—who won a trip to the US for exceeding quota or some such—got up on the table and danced to Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”. I can never hear that song without thinking of her.

A cohort of employees stayed in the hotel bar until it closed that night. Then the VP who’d picked up the tab (on the company, of course) sent everyone there back to their rooms to clean out their minibars and return. They remained drinking until about 0400. I was not part of the jolly group, but they were definitely the worse for wear the next day.

Ah, good times.

Anyway—Elton John. This is so early 80s. 


 

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