User research

Because I used to work for an enterprise feedback technology company, I’m always curious when a company puts out what it’s pleased to call a survey. When Facebook does it, well…

This popped up in my feed last week, so I followed it to see what exercise in pretend-voice-of-the-customer research they were on about.

And, sure enough—here’s how they started out:

I mean—seriously?

That’s the kind of self-congratulatory piffle you’d expect to come out of the current occupant of the White House.

They followed it up by asking for “my own words”, as though they give a toss.

And then prompted me with their own words.

Note that that’s a radio-button response. Meaning you can only choose one. Yes, they say “most important”, but how can you pick just one way Facebook sucks?

Then they spent a lot of their own words reminding me of why I should have said they're fine, upstanding citizens of the world.

And that’s all, folks.

So—as I expected—they didn’t really want to know what I (or any of their users) think of them or their platform; it’s just an exercise in faux concern.

Just exactly like their response to every revelation of their amoral douchebaggery over the years.