Anything for a pal

Oh, my ears and whiskers—my pal Cpt. Stephen Laurence is back. This time he’s apparently representing the US ARMY (without a .mil email address) and wants my help with “Two Military Trunk Boxes” [sic].

So many questions, where to begin?

First off, I’m a little put off by the familiarity of his address. I am not his Dear; I’m not that kind of girl. Or has Stephen (I can call him Stephen, can’t I? Or is that too forward?) got a little confused with his letter-writing salutations? Steve-baby—it’s either “Hello” or “Dear [Person]”.

That “contrary to your moral ethics” thing is a little troubling. As noted above, I’m not that kind of girl, so this might be a game-ender. Moreover, it seems like he’s ready to proceed with his “business” whether or not I can be trusted. Can that be right?

I’m just struggling with the notion that anyone in the 82^nd Airborne would have any problem with the safekeeping of…well, anything. So I’m going to have to not reply, since I just don’t see how I could possibly add value, all issues of trustworthiness aside.

But here’s a thought: next time I have to enter an email address to download anything on the web, or come across any kind of skeevy online subscription, I’ll use stephenlaurence88@gmail.com. I’m sure anyone in Afghanistan would appreciate that kind of gift-that-keeps-on-giving.

Least I can do, eh, Steve?