Friday, March 23, 2018

Anything for a pal


Oh, my ears and whiskers—my pal Cpt. Stephen Laurence is back. This time he’s apparently representing the US ARMY (without a .mil email address) and wants my help with “Two Military Trunk Boxes” [sic].


So many questions, where to begin?

First off, I’m a little put off by the familiarity of his address. I am not his Dear; I’m not that kind of girl. Or has Stephen (I can call him Stephen, can’t I? Or is that too forward?) got a little confused with his letter-writing salutations? Steve-baby—it’s either “Hello” or “Dear [Person]”.

That “contrary to your moral ethics” thing is a little troubling. As noted above, I’m not that kind of girl, so this might be a game-ender. Moreover, it seems like he’s ready to proceed with his “business” whether or not I can be trusted. Can that be right?

I’m just struggling with the notion that anyone in the 82nd Airborne would have any problem with the safekeeping of…well, anything. So I’m going to have to not reply, since I just don’t see how I could possibly add value, all issues of trustworthiness aside.

But here’s a thought: next time I have to enter an email address to download anything on the web, or come across any kind of skeevy online subscription, I’ll use stephenlaurence88@gmail.com. I’m sure anyone in Afghanistan would appreciate that kind of gift-that-keeps-on-giving.

Least I can do, eh, Steve?



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