Thursday, October 12, 2017

I'm just a party girl. Or the Mother of Dragons

The Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing last week was quite the experience for me. Aside from the sessions (most very interesting, some meh and a couple of clams), I entered a whole new world. Viz:

I Ubered and I Lyfted for the first time. (Thank you, Darline, my first Lyft driver, for showing me how to do it!) By the end of the conference I was indistinguishable from the 17,999 other Hoppers standing at the front door of restaurants, hotels and other venues, staring at my mobile device and waiting for my ride.

(And really amusing upon arriving at Dulles to find people’s grannies using Uber and Lyft. Although my Uber fare home wasn’t really any cheaper than my taxi ride out had been.)

It was interesting that both apps give you your driver’s name, vehicle and license plate; Lyft was better because it shows a photo of the actual car. I have no notion of what different cars look like, and in the dark this becomes even more problematic, so this was helpful. Also, the license number is useless in Florida, which doesn’t require a front plate.

The hospitality events were first-rate. As I’ve mentioned, the companies in attendance were focused on recruiting tech talent with the XX configuration, and they did not scrimp on the budgets for these events. I only went to about ten or twelve in the three-and-a-half days I was there, although if I’d wanted to, I probably could have done a lot more double-booking and party-hopping than I did. Let me just give you a sampling from two evenings.

I started the first one by hitting the Cisco Disco at the pool area of my hotel. Bar, canapés and an ice cream bar. The latter was certainly welcome in the heat and humidity of Orlando, but it was hard to eat with the Medusa-like head gear they handed out as you entered.

From there I went through the convention center to the hotel at the other end and spent about 40 minutes at the Facebook pub trivia quiz (beer, wine, sodas and nibbles) before wandering into the #TwitterNightOut. I’d RSVP’d, but thought I wouldn’t make it because it was at another hotel. However, they moved it from wherever they were going to hold it to one of the ballrooms across from Facebook (kind of ironic, actually; like when Microsoft Stores get set up across from Apple Stores at malls), so I dropped in. This was full-blown rave mode, with multiple bars, canapés and some glow-in-the-dark swag.

After that, I drifted upstairs to the function rooms, where the Federal Reserve Bank was serving…something. I picked up a large cookie and hobbled back to my hotel room to make chamomile tea and eat the cookie.

Of the parties I went to, only a minority limited themselves to a couple of types of wine, fleshed out by sodas. I’m talking full bars taken over at restaurants and well-stocked, professionally-tended bars at hotel event rooms. The more exotic were at the iOS dinner, held at a Cuba Libre, and the HBO “Fire and Ice” Game of Thrones jobber at the Minus 5º Bar nearby. This was on the second night. I had my first mojito at the former, and my second, before I had to leave.

The HBO thing was pretty amazing (as they intended). First off, you had to not just RSVP, but say why they should let you in. I don’t recall what I said, exactly, but I did mention that if I were to go, I could throw some serious shade on my GoT fan friends. Apparently that was enough. (I don’t know why I was let into the iOS event, either, since they also wanted you to say why and I flat out told them I’m not an iOS developer.) Turns out that the Minus 5º Bar is an ice bar—as in, you walk through an airlock portal to get into a room carved out of ice.




They had it tricked out in what I took to be GoT schtick (I’ve not seen it, so I’m clueless), and they were offering two GoT-themed cocktails. (This was billed as “Cocktails and Conversation”.) I can’t recall what the first drink was (since it was post-mojito iOS), except that it had gin in it, and I don’t drink gin. Therefore, I chose the Mother of Dragons, which had some kind of non-gin booze (probably either rum or vodka), blood orange juice, lime juice and a splash of jalapeño, served in a glass carved out of ice.

Lemme just say that that Mother of Dragons was one tasty beverage, and it was quite interesting drinking it out of ice. (BTW: they give you big old parkas to put on, and there’s a pile of gloves in the airlock, so you don’t freeze.)

They held the presentation in the non-ice section of this establishment—multiple screens showing scenes from GoT with the visual effects stripped out and then layered in. (They were recruiting for engineers to help with this magic.) After a while I left, because frankly, it was hard on my joints to be standing still for that length of time after a full day of walking from one end of the Orange County Convention Center to another. So I missed the raffle for the GoT-related stuff, although they handed out $25 gift cards to HBOnow when you picked up your name tag.

And I definitely get to throw shade on my GoT fan friends.

From there I went to the Microsoft-sponsored Codess event (my fourth of the evening; I started out at the PowerToFly cocktails and convos, without imbibing), which was held at a place called the Sugar Factory. This turned out to be a bar attached to a candy shop. (You know—it might have been a restaurant, but they’d cleared everything out of it except a few high tables, the sort you find in a cocktail bar.) I got there around 2100, which was about halfway through the cocktails event.

Turned out to be more standing, but I had a fascinating conversation with three women—one from SAP (in Germany), one from Oracle and one from I don’t remember. The two latter were Orlando residents, and they were curious about our impression of their hometown. Sadly, we both used words like “artificial”, “plastic” and “Vegas”. They assured us that Orlando is actually a very nice place, and it was a pity that the only parts of it we were seeing were the touristy ones.

Which was of course true.

The Codess goodie bag consisted of being handed two little containers and being set loose in the candy shop. I really didn’t fancy more sugar at that point, but I did get some chocolate covered almonds and coffee beans, and a few gummy critters, which look disgusting, but I have a friend who will probably appreciate the gummy gators.



A couple more hospitality highlights:

The breakfast put on Thursday by Square featured their CFO, Sarah Friar, who spoke eloquently about how her company’s tech was making a difference to small businesses. (I’ve certainly seen that: from taco trucks to hair salons to electricians, that little credit card reader has opened up my wallet to businesses that would have lost me if I’d had to carry cash.) They’re also moving into small business lending, which is an interesting expansion.

The goodie bag at each of our places contained three things Friar cares about: a Square reader, tea and honey. I loved the personalization of that swag.


God bless Slack for putting on the Ladies who Launch lunch that had actual food—both pork and chicken, salad, veggies. This was enough to see me through the entire afternoon and past the last night bash (where food was served, but the sliders, sushi and whatnot just didn’t look appetizing).

The panel discussion on issues around diversity and inclusion was excellent, as well.

(Another aside: the "tips for surviving GHC" all said to bring snacks. Between the mid-morning and mid-afternoon spreads of pastries, fruit, eggs and yoghurt on the career fair floor, and the various sponsored meals, I never needed to touch any of the protein or granola bars in my pack.)

And I was rather amused to see this little fellow as I was walking around the venue for the Stripe Coffee and Crepes breakfast. I don’t think he was part of the official décor, and I thought he might be fake, but he was as real as I was at that point.


I’ll write more about GHC later. Because swag.


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