Putting a happy face on it

Huh. Seems like only…three weeks ago that I was writing about Facebook’s love of serving up ersatz “memories” for its users. And how, when you tell them to get stuffed, they give you that same look of contrition that you get from your four-year-old when caught with cookie crumbs on his face.

Well, as Gomer Pyle was wont to say, su-prise, su-prise. Over this past few days I’ve had a load of Facebook’s happy-clappiness. Another serving of “memory”—from the whole summer, which (this being officially autumn), I might already have forgotten:

Once again, I told them, in the limited way they allow, to get stuffed.

But then they’ve taken to extending the happy-clappiness to faux-genial greetings when I log in. Viz:

And here’s the robust mechanism they give me to drop-kick them into the People’s Republic of North Korea:

I’ll close out by saying that Zuckerberg should have devoted more resources to policing hate groups and Russian election campaign ads. If he had, I’d be less crabby about this crap, and this happy-clappy ersatz wish might be nearer to reality: