Cyberstalking

I’ve shared a selection of Facebook follies before—how they’re always trying to prompt me into having the sort of life they think I should be having.

Well, they’re back.

In the space of less than 24 hours, I got two of their intrusive “suggestions”.

First there was this chirpy greeting:

Seriously—if that’s not creepy, I don’t know what is.

And then there was this, must have been Sunday morning, although I didn’t see it until night.

Guys—if your algorithm hasn’t picked up on the fact that I have never commented one way or another on any sporting event, then you need to hire a whole new batch of SDEs.

(Oh, and P.S.: why on earth would I want to share that with anyone?)

They put this crap right at the top of your timeline, like it’s so important. And however many times I click on the “see fewer bits of nonsense like this”, they still come back to see if I’ve changed my mind. Like a four-year-old.

I do not need Facebook to sidle up with a weather forecast to let me know that they know where I am. And I don’t need their assumptions that I’m watching anything on TV at any time.

What I would like would be for them to quit resetting my timeline preference, and to explain to me why things that show up in the Facebook mobile app do not appear in my browser feed (and vice versa).