Brainstorming downtime

Ah, HR—always trying to be relevant.

The latest out of the satrapy is the vaunted “Employee Downtime Area”, announced last year without any employee demand whatsoever. They’re taking the only place in the 13-floor edifice where you can get away from your desk to eat your lunch (without leaving the building) and converting it into “a new area where employees can now relax and socialize with their colleagues in a fun, informal setting.”

Yippee.

To this end, here’s what we can look forward to later this month:

“Brainstorm Corner* with couches, television/AV monitor and whiteboard wall

“Foosball Table with adjacent high-top tables and stools for viewing/queuing

“Mini Free Library (Take-a-Book, Leave-a-Book honor system) and lounge chairs”

*Don’t even ask, because I just can’t…

I don’t believe the ladies of HR have entirely thought this thing through, bless their hearts. Because how are you expected to be downtiming when your colleagues are either brainstorming with the whiteboard and TV monitor, and/or whooping it up at the foosball table?

Wanna know what employees would really appreciate? Employer-supplied coffee and tea on each floor and an espresso machine in that “Employee Downtime Area”.

Because nothing says “relax” like a double latte with a shot of hazelnut syrup.