And furthermore...

As often happens on email discussions in the Pundit’s Apprentice circle, the exchange about saberage, which I reported on yesterday, branched out a bit. One of the fellows said he’d be sending the video to his sons “and possibly my ‘I can do it myself’ daughter.”

On account of, “It’s always important for young people to be sophisticated and know how to impressingly open champagne [or Piper Sonoma, or Asti Spumante, etc.), especially when you are out on a date—or you have an unexpected evening alone at home, and want to drown your sorrows.”

Well—did I not tell you that people in the Pundit’s Apprentice-Stretch set are extremely interesting? This guy has a weltanschauung that totally aligns with mine.

First off, I think it’s extremely important, when out on a date, to demonstrate that you possess weapons, and that you know how to use them. It sets realistic expectations straight off the bat.

Also, it lets your companion know how much you appreciate the choice of sparkling wine over something like Château Thames Embankment.

And, no doubt, it impresses the wait staff. You’ll get much better service after that.

But I also like his inclusion of doing up the night in properly—not just the “drowning your sorrows” part; anyone can do that, to the soundtrack of some Country & Western CD. No—by whacking the cork out of a bottle of bubbly with a saber.

That’s style to the core, baby.

He went on to add, “Actually, I know a number of single women who tell me that they daily make a full dinner for themselves, and polish off an entire bottle of wine with it, which I have never been tempted to do: either make a full dinner for myself and/or polish off a whole bottle of wine.”

Well, again—this person travels in first-rate circles. Women who don’t need no stinkin’ guests to prepare and eat a slap-up meal, and who aren’t afraid to drink a whole bottle of wine with it.

You go, girls!

Here’s the deal: for the longest time I used my dining table strictly as a place to dump papers. But about three months ago, I decided that I was an idiot. Since then I cleared off (at least half of) the table and had dinner there every night (except for three occasions, which were allowable exceptions). I set my place on the tablecloth, with linen napkins and a crystal wine glass.

(I long since threw away the notion that crystal is for guests only. And most of my stemware either came as a gift from someone or was purchased on one of my trips to Europe, so every piece has happiness associated with it. My good china may be packed away in a garage; but I damn well drink wine from crystal.)

Okay—I probably have the TV on, or am streaming video on the laptop. But I’m sat at the table, eating an actual whole meal, with veggies and everything, and I feel a lot more humanoid than if I were just, say, eating potato chips out of the bag and washing them down with caffeine-free Diet Coke while checking Facebook updates. (Which I don’t. Because you get the salt and oil all over your keyboard.)

So far I’ve refrained from drinking a whole bottle of wine at one sitting. Although there have been nights when I considered it. So it’s still an option.