Holy smoke

Habemus, as they say, papam. The Papal conclave, on only its second day, has elected a new Pope, the cardinal formerly known as Jorge Maria Bergolio, 76, of Buenos Aires. His nom de Pope is Francis, and his election, on the fifth ballot, pretty well breaks all land speed records for papal elections.

Bergolio is a Jesuit (first ever to be elected pontiff), so people hoping that he took the name Francis and therefore pastoral guidance from the man from Assisi—a humane (if possibly divinely dotty) churchman—are probably in for a disappointment. The more likely inspiration is Francis Xavier, co-founder of the Society of Jesus, and not the kind of guy you’d really want to get into an argument with. He was a soldier; beware of guys with a cross in one hand and a sword in the other, if you catch my drift.

He’s also old. Only two years younger than Benedict XVI was on his election in 2005. Benedict, you’ll recall, opened up the position of head of the Catholic Church by resigning last month, citing age and health reasons, after only eight years in office. These cardinals are not the brightest bulbs on the tree, are they—how do they expect to get value out of a guy this old? Especially after the example of the last one? Did they run the candidates through stress tests? Get MRIs? Ask them how long they reckon they’re good for on the throne?

I expect they calculate they’re doing well to find a cardinal who doesn’t have fraud, child abuse or sexual harassment charges in his past or present.

It’s a bit of a hoo-hah, the fact that the new Pope is not European (not had one of those in 1200 years) and the first ever Latin American. I’d be a lot happier about that latter if there weren’t some questions about Bergolio’s complicity with various Argentine dictatorships. I suppose there’s a certain amount of going-along to get-along in those situations, but still.

(My idea of a Latin American Church leader is Óscar Romero; but of course being assassinated in the course of your pastoral duties is a handicap to getting elected Pope.)

On the other hand—perhaps that qualifies him to lead the Church these days, to keep things on an even keel, wink-wink, nudge-nudge. There’s a whole lot wrong with the institution, and the biggest signs of leadership activity seem to revolve around keeping people from paying any attention to the man behind the curtain.

It’s like expecting Congress to enact campaign reform laws—or the foxes to legislate against hen house raids: it’s hard for the very people who benefit from the institutional corruption to take active steps to clean up the mess. As a Cardinal, Bergoglio has gone on record many times taking stands against bringing the Church into even the 20^th Century—including denying communion to anyone who expresses opinions not strictly the party line on topics like birth control, homosexuality and the like. So perhaps that’s a more heavily weighted qualifier than the fact that the old dog probably doesn’t have a lot more fights left in him.