Fast times and high crimes

Strange week in these United States.

The best efforts of right-wing Republican nut jobs in the House of Representatives were not enough to shut down the government, even though they stamped their feet, held their breath and tossed their toys out of the pram.

As a consequence, the first invertebrate to hold the office of Speaker of the House (after 15 votes) also became the first Speaker to be voted out of the office (after 270 days—shortest tenure since 1878).

It was rather amusing to watch Kevin McCarthy go on CBS Face the Nation on Sunday and bald-facedly lie to Margaret Brennan to blame Democrats for the Continuing Resolution drama; she laughed at him.

Ahead of today's vote on an effort to oust @SpeakerMcCarthy, the House Democratic Caucus watched McCarthy's interview with @margbrennan on Sunday, where he attempted to blame House Democrats for the near-government shutdown.

WATCH: pic.twitter.com/IwwnMYZitK

— Face The Nation (@FaceTheNation) October 3, 2023

Aaaand then on Tuesday he reached out to those same Democrats to try to save his speakership when Matt Gaetz came gunning for him for the high crime of…working with the Democrats to get the CR passed.

People—these morons have driver’s licenses. They’re loose on the streets.

Well, McCarthy’s out as Speaker, bow-tied twit Patrick McHenry of North Carolina is interim Speaker. His first action (prompted by McCarthy) was to order former (and highly-effective Speaker) Nancy Pelosi to move out of her current office; his second was to order Steny Hoyer (former Majority Leader) out of his office.

Never let it be said that there is any act too petty for Republicans to perform.

Li'l Kev subsequently announced that he will never run for Speaker again. Evidently there is a limit to the amount of humiliation he'll undergo.

Having thus exhausted themselves, Republicans ordered the House into recess until next Wednesday, notwithstanding the fact that the clock is ticking on legislation to fund the federal government beyond mid-November. Hissy fits are hard, man.

And in courtroom news, the (twice-impeached, four-times indicted, never-won-the-popular-vote) former president, Cadet Bonespurs, got a gag order from Justice Arthur Engoron in New York District Court. The tipping point was a burp on the Kleptocrat’s imitation Twitter platform attacking Engoron’s law clerk—posted while he was actually in court on Tuesday, but you could tell he was working his way up to projectile verbal vomiting, starting with his arrival in the Manhattan courthouse Monday morning. (One of his whines is the fact that this is a bench trial—“there’s no jury!” Well, doofus, that’s because one of your lawyers couldn’t be arsed to file the paperwork requesting a jury trial. James’s team requested no jury; Orangina’s team didn’t file, so voilà. Yet he’s still moaning about it. At any moment I expect him to exclaim, “It’s a tapestry of justice!”) His rants have become more and more unhinged in the past couple of weeks, and he barged into the courthouse visibly steaming about the fraud case filed by NY Attorney General Letitia James. (Engoron ruled last week that James has proved the fraud; this trial is to determine the amount of damages Bonespurs and his business entities have to cough up.)

Tuesday afternoon, Engoron met in private with TFG, his lawyers and the prosecutors. Evidently the post had been brought to his attention and he bitch-slapped Bonespurs thoroughly, demanding that it be deleted. It was, but he’d already used it for fundraising appeals; the goobers do like that kind of thing. The deal currently seems to be that none of the parties—looking at you, short-fingered vulgarian—may make public statements about any member of the court staff; violations will bring consequences. (Not sure what those might be, though.)

(Also on Tuesday, Forbes dropped the Kleptocrat from their 400 richest people list. That's gotta bite his gold-plated ego.)

TBH, I’m surprised we haven’t had more outbursts from the head of the Republican party. Having to sit for hours in a room where you’re not allowed to speak and aren’t even the focus of attention has to be agony for a malignant narcissist. Then there are the physical issues—the girdle and adult diaper can’t be comfortable at all. Must be a little tricky changing the latter in a public toilet, too.

Also, TBH—I’m surprised that Bonespurs hasn’t violated the gag order. I didn’t think he’d make it out of the courthouse without spewing something sanctionable. But evidently he’s planning on testifying at some point in this trial, so I’m pretty sure he’ll make it over the line.

At time of writing, TFG has packed it in, courtwise, and is headed to Florida. He has, after all, been unable to golf for three days; understandable.

And it is no wonder that the world is watching this and slowly backing away.