Par avion

I went to the Post Office yesterday to mail a packet to the UK. The USPS employee said it would take three weeks to get there.

Me: “I want it to go by air.”

USPS: “It will take three weeks.”

Me: “Is there something faster?”

USPS: “Three- to five-day. But that will cost around $70.”

(Note that this packet was in a medium-sized manila envelope. It weighed 4.8 ounces.)

Now, the fact that this is a Christmas present, which I’m getting around to sending the first week of March is my bad. Entirely.

But—I seriously do not know how it can take three weeks for something to go by air from Washington, D.C., to London. Is it riding a balloon? Do the Wright brothers have the contract? Is it going by way of Beijing?

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot