Shoes, barrels and stockings

Today’s the feast day of Saint Nicholas, the 4^th Century Bishop of Myra. These days we mostly know him in his secular guise: Santa Claus. He’s the jolly old Saint Nick who brings presents to good children. (In several European traditions, Saint Nicholas Day is when gifts are given, and the saint is often accompanied by a figure meant to be a Moor, therefore in blackface, who punishes the naughty children, sometimes carrying switches for the purpose. I don’t judge, it’s tradition. Like, I dunno, statues of Confederate generals.) The usual vehicle for signaling that you’re looking for presents is to leave out your shoes (a precursor, I guess, to hanging stockings* with care.)

Unsurprisingly, then, most songs about Saint Nicholas are for children. I’m giving you a couple.

First, from Germany, we have “Laßt uns froh und munter sein”, which is all about preparing for the saint’s visit, getting shoes shined up in readiness. As you can see here:

Over in France, by contrast, we’ve got another happy-sounding children’s song, but the storyline, man—the storyline. “La Légende de Saint Nicolas” recounts one of the gorier tales surrounding the actual Saint Nicholas—remember, the bishop of Myra? Specifically, the story about the three boys who ran afoul of a butcher and were murdered, cut up (possibly with a bone saw—who’s to know; not even the CIA, right?) and put into a barrel of brine. Nicholas restored the boys to life and de-dismembered them; he also reportedly forgave the butcher on condition of repenting.

Yes—this children’s song is all about that incident. I don’t judge. In this instance, the boys have been in the pickle barrel for seven years, when Nicholas is invited in by the butcher. He’s offered a slice of ham, and refuses it. How ‘bout a bit of veal? Nope. The saint specifically asks for the meat that’s been brining for seven years, which sends the butcher into a tizzy. Nicholas reanimates the boys and redeems the butcher.

*This triggers the recollection of a story by Damon Runyon, “Dancing Dan’s Christmas”, which has the usual collection of insouciant characters. The key element I’m thinking about is, after a bunch of them have been standing around Good Time Charley Bernstein’s speakeasy tossing back hot Tom and Jerrys, Dancing Dan takes a notion to dress up as Santa, and borrows the costume not immediately needed by Ooky (who has passed out from too many Tom and Jerrys). 

Dancing Dan cuts quite the figure, and when Charley suggests that it’s a pity that there appear to be no stockings available for him to fill, Dancing Dan replies, “I know where a stocking is hung up. It is hung up in Muriel O’Neill’s flat over here in West Forty-Ninth street. This stocking is hung up by nobody but a party by the name of Gammer O’Neill, who is Miss Muriel O’Neill’s grandmamma. Gammer ONeill is going on ninety-odd, and Miss Muriel O’Neill tells me she cannot hold out much longer, what with one thing and another, including being a little childish in spots.”

Well, the story turns on a jewel heist, a very large stocking, a jealous mobster boyfriend, flummoxed cops and some other things. But Gammer O’Neill dies a very, very happy doll. It’s absolutely the spirit of Saint Nicholas.