Monday, February 26, 2018

Gratitude Monday: ...and rest

I found out on Saturday that my friend David has died, and I’ve spent much of the weekend thinking about how much my connection to him mattered to me. I can’t say that I knew him well, but I truly valued his opinions, both when his perspective aligned with mine, and when it didn’t.

We first “met” on Twitter. Yes, I followed him because he played Detective Sergeant Wield on the BBC’s Dalziel & Pascoe series. Twitter’s the place where you can do that. We had a few exchanges there, and later on connected on Facebook.

I thought his family background was very interesting, although I got the sense that he didn’t find it so. (Fair dues; I wouldn’t say my family is much to write home about, either.) One of his grandfathers was an Irish traveller (the term applied to non-Roma gypsies in Ireland) who went straight from the bogs at age 15 to India with the Connaught Rangers. He spent 24 years there, which must have been quite the culture shock, and I’d have been interested to find out more about that. However, he was a rigid, deep-to-the bone Roman Catholic who refused to speak to his daughter when she married David’s father, a Protestant.

David told me that during World War II, his father was caught stealing chickens and given the choice between six months in prison or joining the commandos, so he “volunteered”. He landed on the Normandy beaches with F Troop of No. 4 Commando on his 21st birthday. I was hoping that someone would have captured his experiences in some kind of oral history project, but David said they hadn’t. I got the impression that his dad didn’t talk about it, and no one wanted to ask.

I’m a little unclear about his early days, which were somewhere around Salford and Blackpool. He worked as a mechanic in a garage following high school, then spent a few years in 129 (Dragon) Battery of the Royal Artillery. (His friends on Facebook called him Gunner, which makes sense, but also Modo. I always meant to ask what the significance of that was, but never remembered when we were writing. Now I can’t.)


Only when he got out of the army did he take up acting, studying at the Drama Centre, London, and graduating in 1993. Many of his Facebook posts were humorous takes on that experience. They made me laugh, and I didn’t even know any of the participants. He got regular work when he was cast as Wieldy in the Dalziel & Pascoe series; he left that in 2002, at the end of Season 7, and had small roles in some movies and TV shows thereafter.

I found David’s Wield a little disconcerting, largely because he wasn’t anywhere near as ugly as the character had been described in Reginald Hill’s novels. But he captured the essence of Wield, so that was okay. (In much the same way that Warren Clarke got Dalziel, even though Hill had said that he didn’t think Clarke was fat enough to pay the part.) I wrote about this; I assume David read that post, because he commented on the post before that, where I lamented the death of Hill and expressed my admiration for his writing. (He said he hadn’t read much of the novels, but that he’d met Hill and he was a good bloke.) He never brought up my comments on his portrayal, and neither did I.

David retired from acting after he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, in 2006. By the time we started talking, he had cycled through various mobility aids and was confined to a wheelchair. He was—and is—one of the main reasons I join the WalkMS events every year. The first time I did it and wrote about it, he read my post, and thanked me. 




By the time we got to email correspondence, he was living in a care facility. This disturbed me more than I can say, because when he played Wield, one of the things that struck me was his walking gait. Such a free movement, long, sure strides, usually with his coat flapping behind him. I tried not to think about it; I cannot imagine how he felt.

At some point in 2013 (I think), David rolled up his Twitter account and moved his online presence to Facebook. Then he closed that down and I was sad. He fired up Pinterest, but I’ve never got the point of that, and it’s certainly not a platform for conversations. But he found me on LinkedIn and connected with me there, so we could continue our exchanges via email. (He said he had only joined LinkedIn because an agent had once told him he should be reachable; thank you, agent.)

Following the Brexit vote, he dug into his Irish connections to ensure his sons could stay connected to the EU by getting dual British-Irish citizenship. (The genealogist he hired came up with a family name of Fahey, and he sent me a photo of the American actor Jeff Fahey alongside one of him, and asked me if I saw a family resemblance. They did look similar, but…) We had several discussions of the lunacy of both Brexit and the GOP platform. As an ex-soldier, he thought the mouth-foaming Second Amendment nutjobs were a menace to everyone else. (And these discussions were before the events of recent months.)

He also despised the God Squad—any flavor of God Squad. (I can just imagine what he’d say about those who do nothing about shooting deaths beyond sending “thoughts and prayers”.) I don’t know whether the narrow-minded intransigence of his Irish grandfather was a factor; certainly not directly as the old guy died either before David was born or early in his childhood. But he expressed his contempt for religion on all the social media platforms that I saw, and was a huge fan of Christopher Hitchens (although he didn’t understand what he saw as Hitchens’ post-9/11 American jingoism), Richard Dawkins and other prominent athiests.

We both loathed zoos and held similar views on horse racing. (I can tolerate flat track racing, but I think steeplechase is criminal. As I told David, the rider can make an informed decision about whether or not to take a gate, the horse can’t. And I’ve seen too many of them fall on muddy courses.)

He introduced me to Hitchens, “The Flight of the Conchords” and Northern Soul. We talked about red hair and he sent me this:


He was a fan of boxing, which I am not. So I sent him a picture once of a boxer. Dog. I also sent him Billy Crystal’s amazing eulogy for his friend Muhammad Ali in 2016, which he truly appreciated.

As an actor David held many opinions on theatre and films. He once told me that you don't need to have a huge intellect to be an actor, but you do need to be aware. You have to know your vulnerabilities and let them work for you. I thought about that a lot, because it ties into what some people call intuition—being attuned to the things that run deeply through you and allowing yourself to be guided by that inner truth. 

I’d occasionally send him bits and bobs, like Robert De Niro’s address at the Tisch School’s commencement in 2015, in which he famously said, “Yeah, you’re all fucked.” David enjoyed it, although he was disappointed that De Niro relied on a teleprompter. (This was a sore point for him. He had the same complaint when Tim Minchin read his commencement address at the University of Western Australia.) He liked Tarantino and Gene Hackman, but I let that slide.

One of his biggest gifts to me was Wes Anderson—it started with The Grand Budapest Hotel, which I adored, and then moved on to Fantastic Mr. Fox and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. I shared them with my BFF, who overcame her aversion to animated movies to enjoy Fantastic (it was Bill Murray as Mr. Badger that did it). In turn I introduced him to Libeled Lady and the comic genius of Jean Harlow, who held her own against William Powell and Spencer Tracy when she was just 25 years old. David thought she was grand.

For a long time he was a fairly regular reader of this blog. In fact, one of his earliest tweets to me was a compliment that inspired me to this effort on Facebook for Tanka Saturday:

Better even than
“Will you marry me?” The best
Four words in English
Are “I like your blog”. From a
Stranger. Unsolicited.

And he sent me this PM on Facebook, which meant so much to me: “Keep going with your blog. It’s interesting, and you observe well and write well.” I’d forgot about that—I only came across it when I was dredging through our correspondence this weekend. But it reminded me how unbelievably chuffed I was when he said it.  

Our last exchange was in September. Then I got wound up in stuff at work. I sent him one of my silly things in November, but there was no reply. That sometimes happened, and it wasn’t unusual for a couple of months to go by without contact. But this past week I noticed a flurry of visits here, to the pages where I posted about the D&P show. And Saturday I finally saw a search term about David’s death. So I searched, found and then started crying.

David got 12 years after his MS diagnosis, but his life should have been longer, and it pisses me off that he died so young. He'd probably mock me for praying for the repose of a soul that he didn't believe exists. Nonetheless, I do. He leaves his partner Rachel, and his sons Bert, 9, and Gus, 6. And a lot of friends, some of whom he never actually met. 

On this Gratitude Monday, I'm grateful for my friendship with David, even as I am filled with sadness that it's been cut so short; around four years. I’ve been treating my sorrow with music this weekend. This is one I keep coming back to, even though David had no connection to the Scots that I know of. It's a lament, and it suits me right now.



David J. Royle, 16 June 1961 – 22 December 2017




18 comments:

  1. A beautifully written rememberence. So great that you reached out, he answered and many intelligent, thoughtful, fun ideas and experiences were shared.

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  2. I know you. Never met David. Thank you for your words and the videos. Laughter and tears.

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  3. Thanks for for some insight into David's life. I'm a big fan of D&P and was disappointed when he left the show. I really like the character he played and his acting style. I googled his name occasionally and saw that he had retired from acting due to ill health. That was sad to hear. And maybe a few months ago, I saw that he had lived with MS for 12 years and had succumbed to it late 2017. Very sad. I see he had a family so maybe he had some joy at various points in his life (not that those without family can't be happy). Anyway, I remember him...actually watching him now in episode 'Deadheads'. Cheers.

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  4. Sorry to hear of his passing ,last time i met him was at his mothers funeral ,he was my cousin, i know my mum and dad watched him on tv and were proud of him ,he was a nice guy.

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  5. Thank you for the post. I've just seen a few episodes of Dalziel & Pascoe (again after a few years) and I was curious about David Royal, who he is, what he has done etc. I was shocked when I found out that he past away almost four years ago. Then I tried to find out more about him but I couldn't find so much on him in Internet. Then I came across your blog and your post. Thank you very much for what your wrote and for giving a little insight of him. I like the way he talked on screen. For me quite specific and but in the same interesting (I am not an English native speaker, so the way people speak or pronounce in English I pay attention to). Thank you very much <3

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  6. I've been watching D & P on Britbox (forgotten how good it was). Got up to season 8 and wondered why Wieldy was missing (a character I love), so I googled it and came across this blog. I didn't know the reasons he left; such a shame. I noticed there is nothing on Wikipedia about David; you seem like the ideal candidate to write something up for him and keep his memory alive.

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  7. I, too, have discovered D&P on Britbox. I hadn’t been able to find much info about David until reading your tribute. I was quite bummed to learn he had died. I’m very short and admired David’s free and easy long-legged stride. Thank you for sharing your friendship with David with the rest of us.

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  8. Thank you for sharing. I've only just discovered the show Daziel&Pascoe and David's character is one of my favorites. I was shocked and sorry to here about his death. Couldn't find much about him until I read your post

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  9. Sad to hear of Wieldy actor’s passing. Great show. Thanks for blog.

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  10. I watched D&P some time ago and started just again on Britbox. My memories of the first go around were mainly of Andy & Peter, so as I started watching it this time I started paying more attention to Royle's character and really began to appreciate the acting skills he brought to the role. So I looked him up, found he'd passed, and in looking for details came across your post. I was touched by how you wrote about him, and what a nice friendship you two had. I'm not sure anyone will be able to write about me with such care and understanding when I pass. Thank you for writing what you did...I feel like I got to know Royle a little from what you wrote and am the richer for it.

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  11. Thanks for writing this piece. Good to read some background on David. I missed 'Wieldy' when he left Dalziel and Pascoe and wondered why the actor left. I was sad to read that it was due to ill health. I hope he was able to at least have some happy years with his family before going too early. Thanks again.

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  12. Thank you for this. I'm saddened to learn of Mr. Royal's passing at quite a young age. I've only recently discovered D&P and "Wieldy" is my clear favorite throughout the series. David was the correct choice to portray the stoic and uber professional DS Edgar "Wieldy" Wield.
    RIP, David.

    Regards,
    Bill Kiefer

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  13. Hi,

    Came across your blog post a couple of days ago, it was heartwarming to read your words about a man I loved as a brother since we met in our teens. There is so much here that I recognise, and so much that I miss, particularly the broad conversations.

    Coming across your bog was purely serendipitous in that our cat died on Thursday, five years to the day of David's passing, and I found myself looking to see if anything was out there about David - not something I'd done in the intervening years.

    Thanks again for your kind words and sharing your memories of 'Gunner'.


    MR

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  14. I became a huge fan of Dalziel and Pascoe a number of years ago when my parents taped the series for me and posted it out to the Middle East, where I was living. I absolutely loved it, especially as it brought back many memories of home - essential when you’re living in 50C and surrounded by sand.
    Wieldy was my favourite character. One episode I remember vividly, was when he found a child’s body among some rocks, and came out holding this child and weeping. Absolutely fantastic acting. I have tried and tired to find this episode and have never managed to. The expression on his face - helpless and desperate, having discovered the child’s body - it makes me tearful now just thinking about it. Extremely moving.
    I was shocked and saddened to read that he died in 2017. I too have MS and am grateful for every day that I can manage to walk and be independent. He was such a tall, characterful and handsome man. And a brilliant actor.
    I pray for his family and that he may Rest in Peace.

    Regards
    Helena Bedford

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  15. Thanks for your comment, Helena. I think the episode you're looking for is "On Beulah Height".

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  16. Tonight I was looking for an episode of Dalziel and Pascoe to watch and was determined that it would be one featuring Wield. When I noticed that he disappeared after series 7 I was motivated to find out why. This led me to your Blog, which I enjoyed (although really saddened to hear that David had passed away). Who would have known that he and I had such similar taste in music and movies!
    Jennifer

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  17. Thank you for your comment, Jennifer. David had a growth mindset, that's for sure!

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