No thanks for the memory

You know, for supposedly having some of the brightest algorithm-designing minds in the world, Facebook spends a lot of time screwing the pooch when it comes to delivering what their customers want.

I mean, it’s one thing for them to try out the SoMe equivalent of pumpkin spice latte, just to see if people either individually or collectively will take them up on it. It’s another thing entirely to keep trying to foist their “suggestions” on me, especially since I take every opportunity to tell them I do not want [whatever], I have never wanted [whatever] and I will never want [whatever].

But they’re the online freaking Energizer Bunny. They just keep popping this crap back up.

Viz.: their “memories”—an indiscriminate kludge of graphics you’ve uploaded during some arbitrary period of time. Every time they serve this up to me, I click on the make-it-go-away arrow and tell them I don’t want to see it. They, like a four-year-old, wait until they think I might have forgotten, and they serve it up again.

Here’s what they suggested I might treasure revisiting, from July—with the expectation that I’d be so dag-blamed ecstatic at seeing it I’d immediately share it with my acquaintances, so they could not only ooh and ah at it, but be inspired to also dredge up some mashup of “memory” and share.

Like some ghastly chain letter.

Now, here’s the thing: They served this up in August. Is it their premise that I’m so gaga that I need reminding what July was like two weeks into the next month? Or are they implying that I lead such a dull life I’m entirely capable of not recalling July once I’ve turned the calendar page over?

I can’t believe they pay people stupid money to come up with this crap, and keep doing it even after I’ve told them to cut it out.